I was talking with some of my friends about MTV’s Teen Mom a few weeks ago, and one of them said, “They’re all whores.” My friend wasn’t calling the guys who the girls had sex with whores, just the girls—not that anyone deserves to be called a whore. I was really surprised and upset that my friend said this.

Why is it that if you’re a teen mother you’re a whore? I don’t hear people calling 20-something-year-old mothers whores, even though they have unplanned pregnancies too. People—teens and adults—make mistakes and birth control fails. But that doesn’t mean you’re a whore, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. I don’t look at any of the girls on Teen Mom as whores or sluts. So, they have kids? So, they’re young? So, what?

Being a parent is the most difficult job in the world, especially when you’re young and not ready to take care of a baby. Why say hurtful things about young mothers who are in a really difficult situation?

People may use words like “whore” because they are insecure and want to feel better about themselves by putting someone else—a girl or woman—down. It would make a big difference if people spent half the time they spend talking bad about other people doing something good, like making sure teens get the information they need to help prevent unplanned pregnancies.

—Kait Hamilton, 17, Staff Writer

Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy means having to make some tough choices. Become a teen parent or have an abortion? But what about the other option? Adoption.

Recently MTV’s 16 and Pregnant featured Catelynn and Tyler, a teen couple who chose to put their daughter Carly up for adoption. If you saw the show, then you know there were a lot of tears, disagreements with their parents, nine long months of pregnancy and, finally, labor. In the end, Catelynn had this to say about choosing adoption:

“Giving my child up for adoption was the hardest thing I’ll have to do in my life…. I just did what my heart told me to do. I think that Carly’s gonna one day come to me and Tyler and tell us, ‘thank you.’ I’m at peace with my decision.”

For teens who aren’t ready or able to be parents, adoption can be the most loving thing to choose.

Check out this Sex, Etc. story about another teen who chose adoption.