“Domestic violence.” “Dating abuse.” These terms probably stir up images of a woman with a black eye or some other kind of visible bruise. While physical violence is a reality for many people (of all genders) who experience abuse from a partner, it hardly tells the whole story. Abuse is not always so in your face; it can be subtle or not immediately obvious.

For teens experiencing dating abuse from a partner, coercion is one of those types of abuse that may not be immediately obvious. Coercion is when one partner talks or manipulates another partner into doing something she or he did not really want to do. The coercive partner might use sweet talk or make threats. No matter how it looks, it’s wrong and it is not a part of a healthy relationship.

Coercion, particularly sexual coercion, can have a huge negative impact on people. For someone coerced into unprotected sexual activities, the result could be a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or possibly an unplanned pregnancy. When you don’t feel like you have choices in your relationship, or your choices are not respected, you can start to feel trapped or hopeless.

If you find yourself saying, “Well, my partner talked me into…” or “It didn’t seem like ‘no’ was an option,” that’s a red flag. Each of us-no matter how we identify or with whom we partner-deserves a relationship based on respect. While studies have shown that the most common dating or domestic violence scenario is a man abusing a woman, dating violence occurs in all kinds of relationships. There is no one type of person who abuses, and no one type of person who is abused.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. To learn more about dating abuse, recognizing the signs and how to help a friend or yourself, visit Love is Respect.

You’ve probably heard the details about the night Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna, or even seen photos of the aftermath. And maybe you’ve decided who’s to blame.

Many people feel that Chris was wrong and that he had no right to hit Rihanna. But a surprising number of people feel that Rihanna is to blame. In a recent survey of 200 teens by the Boston Public Health Commission, 46 percent said the assault was her fault, while 52 percent felt both were at fault.

Why is it that many people, especially young girls, defend Chris at Rihanna’s expense? Do they think that dating violence is a normal and acceptable part of a relationship? Or is this a pattern of girls standing by their men no matter what? In a recent New York Times article, teen girls in a Bronx high school had this to say about the assault:

“I thought she was lying, or that the tabloids were making it up,” one girl said.

“She probably made him mad for him to react like that,” the other ninth grader said. “You know, like, bring it on?”

Let’s be clear. There’s nothing normal about dating violence, and no one has a right to hit another person, regardless of the circumstances.

The video below is a reenactment of the night that Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna, and it’s based on the actual police report. What you’ll see is disturbing. But what’s even more disturbing is that 1 in 3 teens report abuse in relationships and that they stay together after the first act of violence. If seeing this video upsets you, do something about it.

By now you may have heard that 19-year-old R&B singer Chris Brown was arrested for allegedly hitting his girlfriend, fellow R&B star Rihanna. Details about what led up to the attack are still uncertain. But what we do know is that dating violence, no matter the circumstances, is never cool.

Various media reports note that Chris Brown grew up in an abusive household, and that his alleged attack is linked to his family history of violence. But that doesn’t excuse using violence to solve problems in a relationship.

What do you think Rihanna should do? Should Rihanna leave Chris Brown? Or do you think the couple should work things out? Go to the Forums, take the poll and tell us what you think Rihanna should do if Chris Brown hit her.

Did you know that each year 1 in 4 teens reports verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse from a dating partner? Sadly, many teens mistake dating violence for behavior they think is normal in a relationship. But there’s nothing normal about abuse.

JenniferAnn.org has launched the 2009 Life. Love. Game Design Challenge to raise awareness about teen dating violence. Are you an an aspiring game designer? Then use your skills to enter the contest. Check out last year’s grand-prize winner, and see if you can beat the game!