Have you ever felt like Facebook makes dating complicated? I was talking to a friend about dating and relationships, and she went on a rant about her boyfriend’s lack of enthusiasm when it came to liking her statuses, commenting on her photos and so on. She then explained how the way he acts on Facebook must reflect what he thinks of their relationship. But is that really true?

People can get crazy about their boyfriend, girlfriend or crush’s wall posts, status updates, pictures—and not to mention relationship statuses. When we see someone has gotten in or out of a relationship, everyone wants to know what happened. This can make something intimate more of a public spectacle. Rumors can also easily spread because of something seen on Facebook, creating drama and unnecessary conflict in the dating scene (as if it weren’t already difficult enough!) Should we be counting on Facebook to develop healthy relationships?

When the main form of communication in a dating relationship is Facebook, you are concentrating on the virtual aspect of the relationship. But it can make things downright awkward in-person. It’s best to establish a healthy relationship outside of Facebook and talk to people you trust, such as parents or teachers, about dating rather than going on Facebook to check up on every little thing your partner or crush is or isn’t saying on Facebook.

Instead of getting caught up in Facebook drama, we can educate ourselves about healthy relationships. For more information on dating, love and healthy relationships, check out the Love & Relationships section of Sexetc.org.

—Casandra Fetchik, 18, Staff Writer

I’ve started losing interest in Twilight fandom, and it’s all because of the long awaited marriage and sex scene between Edward and Bella in the latest film, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1.

In the books and movie, Bella wants more physical intimacy with Edward, but he says they must marry first. So what does Bella do? She rushes too quickly into marriage—a very serious thing—because that’s the only way Edward will have sex with her. Her only concern seems to be what will make Edward happy—not a good message to send to the fans. It’s frustrating that Bella’s character is portrayed as so dependent on Edward. He spies on Bella while she sleeps, dictates her choice of friends and encourages her to trick her father, among other questionable actions that make Edward a creep and not a healthy choice for a boyfriend or husband. But will girls and guys believe having a controlling and possessive partner means your partner “loves” you, because they see Bella and Edward’s relationship portrayed as “romantic”?

And what about sex? The sex scene wasn’t described in detail in the book or movie. But the aftermath was shown with the breaking of a headboard and Bella’s body covered in bruises. (Edward can’t control his superhuman strength during sex with a mere human. This makes me wonder: Does this leave people thinking a partner really desires you if he or she hurts you during sex?) While Edward is disgusted with himself because he has bruised Bella, she is happy they have finally had sex. One moment Bella and Edward are in total bliss, and the next they’re both upset. Communication before, during and after sex might have helped avoid some of the misunderstanding.

At first I thought the Twilight storyline was cute, and of course, I daydreamed about how lovely a vampire boyfriend would be, but when I actually thought about what Bella and Edward’s relationship is like, I really lost interest. (But Team Jacob all the way!)

—Casandra Fetchik, 17, Staff Writer

This past fall, I told you about the online competition for the great American boyfriend hosted by GenuineKen.com. The competition featured men from around the country who were nominated to be judged based on their appearance and what a short questionnaire revealed about their personalities. If that wasn’t bad enough, the reality show that has stemmed from that competition is now an online show on Hulu that features the top eight winners of the online competition.

Somehow, the show manages to be totally offensive. The theme song contains the line “Everybody needs a Ken.” (Really? Is that what everybody needs?) And the contestants are all lauded for their athleticism and appearances. This isn’t to say that “athletic” and “nice” are mutually exclusive, but these so-called “great boyfriends” spend most of the first episode trash-talking their competition’s contributions to a talent show. These guys spent most of their camera time being both nasty and self-absorbed. Somehow those qualities don’t seem like those of the “great American boyfriend,” or even someone I’d want to spend any kind of time with.

The pilot episode alternates between revealing the contestants’ misguided assumptions about what women like and a horrible talent show—one contestant wrote a love poem…about himself and another spent much of the episode mocking another contestant’s musical abilities only to perform a song that had the judges cringing. (If we look at what these guys are being judged on, then we can’t help but conclude that all women like muscular, athletic musicians who can also do acrobatics. This is news to me.)

In spite of all of this, I was sort of entertained: this is the kind of show you love to hate, if you don’t mind constant cringing or shaking your head in disbelief that, yes, someone is really taking this seriously.

—Taylor McCabe, 18, Contributor

If we were to hold a competition for the most ridiculous competition ever, Genuine Ken would take the gold. In a contest hosted by Genuineken.com, men can nominate themselves, or women can nominate a man they know, to be voted “The Great American Boyfriend,” based on how similar the man is to a Ken doll of Barbie-and-Ken fame.

There are oh-so many things I can say about this. The first that comes to mind is that it would take approximately 3.4 seconds for someone to call this competition misogynistic if they were looking for Genuine Barbie, The Great American Girlfriend. But nobody seems to be making a fuss. And the guys nominated apparently do have to be something akin to perfect—at least on the surface. They are judged on “date-ability,” personal style, personality, general hotness and overall KEN-ability.”

At the Genuine Ken Web site, visitors can vote simply (thumbs up or thumbs down) based only on a man’s picture or by rating him on a one-to-five scale in five categories: hotness, personality, style, “date-ability” and hair. Which means, yes, three of the five criteria are based entirely on looks. So does that mean that three-fifths of what it takes to be “The Great American Boyfriend” is just being attractive? Call me old-fashioned, but maybe other qualities, like intelligence, honesty or kindness should come into play?

And maybe it’s just innocent fun—a guilty pleasure, like watching reality TV. But judging men based on the ideal of a doll seems like we may be getting a little shallower than we ought to be.

—Taylor McCabe, 18, Contributor

Prom is one of the most popular high school traditions in the United States. You dress up, take pictures, eat dinner and dance the night away. Well, this won’t be the case for students at Itawamba Agricultural High School in Fulton, Mississippi.

After learning that 18-year-old Constance McMillen would wear a tuxedo and escort her girlfriend to prom, the school sent around a notice, saying that students could not bring same-sex dates to prom. Constance went to the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Mississippi for help. The ACLU sent a letter to the school demanding that Constance be allowed to bring her date to prom. The school board responded by cancelling the event all together. The ACLU is still fighting to have the school reinstate the prom and allow Constance to wear a tuxedo and bring her girlfriend.

Students should have the right to wear a tuxedo or dress to prom and to bring dates, no matter their dates’ gender. Do you want to support Constance and take a small step in tackling the issue of homophobia? Dress You Up in My Love/The Nationwide Equality Prom is a virtual prom that will be held on April 2nd, the day that Constance should be having her prom. People everywhere are encouraged to dress up as if they were attending prom to draw attention to this issue. Why should prom be limited to teens with a specific sexual orientation or gender identity? Teens everywhere should be free to express themselves and be comfortable being who they are.

—Chelsea Sirico, 17, Staff Writer