This past weekend, teens celebrated Halloween—the “sweetest” time of year with candy, mischief, scary spirits—and sexy costumes?!

For some teen girls, Halloween is a fun, harmless opportunity to take exciting risks. From “naughty schoolgirls” to “sexy cops,” girls dressed up in provocative outfits to flaunt their wild sides and show off their bodies. Teens who normally aren’t all caught up in being sexy chose to wear revealing costumes that were tinier, tighter and shorter than ever.

A recent article from the campus newspaper at Northwestern University taught readers how to “skankify yourself this Halloween” with tips and rules. As Cady from Mean Girls has said, “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” Hmmm…so the point of Halloween is to look like skanks and wear as little as possible? Don’t get me wrong, being able to comfortably express our sexy sides and explore personal boundaries can be incredibly empowering. But when does it go too far?

Check out this photo of Audrina Patridge in a genie costume at her recent Halloween party. “Audrina Patridge: Making Every Man’s Wish Come True” reads the headline from a celebrity gossip blog. The headline seems to suggest that the purpose of dressing up is to please others—especially men—rather than ourselves. Why isn’t there a picture of a male celebrity “making everyone’s wish come true” with his costume? What’s up with the double standard?

It’s fine to try out what it’s like to be sexy. But in today’s highly sexualized culture, where women are all too often valued only for their sex appeal, we’ve got to remember there’s a lot more to girls and women than just being sexy.

—Cynthia Lam, 16, Staff Writer

Taylor and Alex are now an item. They’re making it “official” by declaring it on Facebook. Thank goodness your news feed keeps you up-to-date on all the latest, right? You wouldn’t want to be the last one to know. But, really, how are Facebook and other popular social networking sites changing teen relationships?

From boldly stating your interest in people of certain genders to declaring your relationship status, social networking sites make our relationships very public. With a simple click or an update to our information, whole networks of friends (and random people we’re virtual “friends” with) get notified. But relationship status aside, there are other considerations when it comes to dating and Facebook.

How often do you check your partner’s page? Do you know what your partner is up to—who he is talking to or whose pages she is commenting on? Researchers are starting to get interested in the psychology behind Facebook and whether it fuels jealousy through the ability to lurk and check out what another person is up to online. And how do you handle breakups? Certainly changing your relationship status is a not-so-subtle hint to your partner that it’s over, but is that the best way to give or receive that kind of news?

There are definitely great things about Facebook and other social networking sites. They offer another way to connect, stay in touch and spread information. But they also raise questions about the rules of relationships and how people interact. Is Facebook flirting cheating? What kinds of pictures of you and your partner get posted, and what about pictures of either of you with exes? What does “It’s Complicated” as a relationship status even mean? Certainly the popularity of Facebook and other social networking sites adds a layer to relationships, and probably warrants some discussion between partners about what’s OK for Facebook and what’s not OK. Maybe you can add that to the list of things to talk about and negotiate with your partner before you find yourself having a fight over whether or not she or he leaves you enough “likes” or comments on your latest status update.

Pretty pink princesses or muscle-bound superheroes? Monster trucks or sparkly ponies? Go into just about any toy store, and you’ll notice that half of it is pink with toys for girls and the other half has brightly colored toys meant for boys. Is that really fair? Does our gender really have all that much to do with what kinds of toys we should like? A group of sixth graders in Sweden don’t think so.

The students had been learning about gender roles in school and felt that the 2008 Toys “Я” Us Christmas catalog portrayed outdated gender images by having girls and boys playing with separate kinds of toys. Boys were featured playing with very active toys in busy settings, and girls were usually pictured sitting and playing passively. The sixth graders decided to file a complaint with the Swedish agency that polices marketing and advertising in order to voice their concerns about the gender messages they were seeing in the catalog.

The agency agreed with the students and recently issued a statement, saying that they felt Toys “Я” Us’s advertising materials showed a very narrow-minded view of gender and excluded kids of all genders from enjoying a range of toys. There are no fines or penalties associated with the statement from the Swedish agency, but the students raised their voices and called attention to issues of social and gender inequality in media and advertising. Their actions won’t revolutionize the world, but these Swedish young people are a reminder that there is power in the voices of youth. How are you going to use yours?

“Domestic violence.” “Dating abuse.” These terms probably stir up images of a woman with a black eye or some other kind of visible bruise. While physical violence is a reality for many people (of all genders) who experience abuse from a partner, it hardly tells the whole story. Abuse is not always so in your face; it can be subtle or not immediately obvious.

For teens experiencing dating abuse from a partner, coercion is one of those types of abuse that may not be immediately obvious. Coercion is when one partner talks or manipulates another partner into doing something she or he did not really want to do. The coercive partner might use sweet talk or make threats. No matter how it looks, it’s wrong and it is not a part of a healthy relationship.

Coercion, particularly sexual coercion, can have a huge negative impact on people. For someone coerced into unprotected sexual activities, the result could be a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or possibly an unplanned pregnancy. When you don’t feel like you have choices in your relationship, or your choices are not respected, you can start to feel trapped or hopeless.

If you find yourself saying, “Well, my partner talked me into…” or “It didn’t seem like ‘no’ was an option,” that’s a red flag. Each of us-no matter how we identify or with whom we partner-deserves a relationship based on respect. While studies have shown that the most common dating or domestic violence scenario is a man abusing a woman, dating violence occurs in all kinds of relationships. There is no one type of person who abuses, and no one type of person who is abused.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. To learn more about dating abuse, recognizing the signs and how to help a friend or yourself, visit Love is Respect.