Sex: one of the most talked about, thought about and worried about topics in society. But what does “sex” mean?

In a recent survey conducted by the Guttmacher Institute, only 20 percent of college students felt that oral-genital contact was a form of “sex.” On the other hand, 98 percent agreed that penile-vaginal intercourse was sex, and 78 percent agreed that penile-anal intercourse was sex. Interestingly, the participants in the survey were only half as likely as participants in a similar study conducted in 1991 to consider oral-genital intercourse sex.

We all have our own definitions about what sex is or isn’t, but we can’t make the mistake of thinking oral-genital intercourse is a way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). While there is no risk of pregnancy during oral-genital intercourse, there are STDs, including herpes, gonorrhea and HIV, that you can get from oral sex.

Believing that oral sex is not as “serious” as penile-vaginal or penile-anal sex can unfortunately lead to carelessness when it comes to using condoms and dental dams to protect yourself during oral sex. And no matter what you consider sex to be, we can all agree that not protecting yourself is to risk getting an STD. And why not use protection now, so you don’t have to deal with an STD later?

-Melanie Johnson, 17, Staff Writer

You’re talking to the new cutie in your class when out of nowhere he or she asks you to go to the stairwell to hook up. You say no, and the new cutie—who’s starting to look a lot less cute to you—replies, “Come on, I know what people like you do.”

“People like me? What does that mean?” you ask.

“You have a tongue ring and a tramp stamp; don’t tell me you aren’t a whore.”

You’re shocked, and all you can do is get up and walk away. And you wonder, Is that really what people think of me? You find one of your friends and ask “Do I look like a whore?” Your friend, confused, says, “No, what does a whore even look like?”

People sometimes refer to someone they’ve never met as a whore just by looking at them. Unfortunately, clothing and accessories, such as tongue rings, tattoos on your lower back and jelly bracelets, are sometimes enough for people to make assumptions about you sexually, and what your values are. Who knew that getting a piercing or tattoo would make people think badly about you?

Sadly, some people will judge you based on what you are wearing. But how can you get around this? Well, there’s no way to stop people from judging you, but you can take steps to stop it from affecting you. After having someone call me a whore, I was very upset. But later that day, I looked myself in the mirror, stood up straight and repeated to myself out loud, “I am beautiful, and I will not let what people think about me affect the way I see myself.”

Keep in mind that sometimes when people are insecure with themselves, they put others down. So, regardless of what someone calls you, have confidence in yourself and the choices you make about what you wear and what you do. After all, it’s your life, your body and, ultimately, your decision.

—Colleen Tierney, 17, Staff Writer

I was talking with some of my friends about MTV’s Teen Mom a few weeks ago, and one of them said, “They’re all whores.” My friend wasn’t calling the guys who the girls had sex with whores, just the girls—not that anyone deserves to be called a whore. I was really surprised and upset that my friend said this.

Why is it that if you’re a teen mother you’re a whore? I don’t hear people calling 20-something-year-old mothers whores, even though they have unplanned pregnancies too. People—teens and adults—make mistakes and birth control fails. But that doesn’t mean you’re a whore, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. I don’t look at any of the girls on Teen Mom as whores or sluts. So, they have kids? So, they’re young? So, what?

Being a parent is the most difficult job in the world, especially when you’re young and not ready to take care of a baby. Why say hurtful things about young mothers who are in a really difficult situation?

People may use words like “whore” because they are insecure and want to feel better about themselves by putting someone else—a girl or woman—down. It would make a big difference if people spent half the time they spend talking bad about other people doing something good, like making sure teens get the information they need to help prevent unplanned pregnancies.

—Kait Hamilton, 17, Staff Writer

Condoms, when used correctly, help prevent unplanned pregnancies, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Condoms can be an important part of practicing safer sex, and here at Sex, Etc. we encourage you to make condoms fun. Sex, Etc. is not the only place promoting condom use; in fact, a whole city is promoting it! New York City’s Health Department gives away more than 40 million free condoms a year. Those free condoms have a package specifically designed for New York City, a black wrapper based on the city’s subway motif.