Anything Can Happen

I began to worry. The guy that my cousin had lost her virginity to began to hit on me when my cousin went back home after summer, I was slightly uneasy about it cause he was my boyfriend’s best friend. But, I didn’t think anything about it. My boyfriend and I had a fight and we split. About a week later, my cousin’s ex came over and he forced himself on me. It wasn’t the best situation. My cousin’s ex started to rub it into my ex’s face.

I felt used and completely disgusted with myself. I found myself wanting to get away from everything by ending my life. A little later my ex forgave me and we began dating again. And once again it was all about sex. I started to get wearier of our relationship. Before my ninth grade started me and him broke up once again. We weren’t together for three months before he came running back to me when none of the girls he dated would ‘spread their legs’.

I felt used, but my love for him was strong and once more I let him into my life. Around Christmas, a month after we got back together, he ditched me. On New Years, I got drunk, hoping to forget everything painful that happened that year. In my drunken state I decided to walk home and ran into my ex’s best friend. He walked me home, and since no one was home. Once again I was taken advantage of.

I felt dirty and gross. Then, my ex’s best friend began to rub it in his face like my cousin’s first did. I felt as if everyone was turned against me. My ex and I decided to try once again. Everything started out perfect, except for the fact that he couldn’t get over me having a girlfriend. When I was in the seventh grade, I found that I was attracted to both sexes and it drove me up the wall.

Because, I wanted to be with my girlfriend and him, he told me it wouldn’t work. Not two weeks later he came back begging to be taken back. I did. After two weeks we fought and he dumped me once more. I knew I shouldn’t let him back into my life, but I loved him to much to deny him that right. I gave him more chances then he had to give me.

After I took him back once more, it was just a few weeks ago. He started wanting more sex. My only problem. My mother had accidently thrown away my birth control pills away. But, he always refused to wear a condom.

After one year and eight months. I found myself pregnant. I’m fifteen years old and I’m taboo.