First and foremost, what happened was not your fault. It was not your fault even if you were dressed really sexy. It was not your fault even if the person who raped you is someone you’ve been seeing for a while or a relative or family friend. It was not your fault even if you started to be sexual with this person and changed your mind in the middle of it.

Anytime a person says “no” to sex and another person does not respect that and keeps going, it is rape. Rape is wrong, and it’s against the law.

Here’s what you need to do immediately:

1. If you have not yet done so, please do not shower. This may be hard, because you may be feeling really gross. But showering away the grossness also showers away some evidence, which the police will need if you decide to press charges. You have up to five years to press charges if you choose, but the evidence needs to be collected now.

2. Tell your parent(s) or caregiver(s) or another adult in your life who you know well and trust. They can help you negotiate the next steps in what you have to do.

3. Call the police. Just pick up the phone and dial 911. Let the police know what happened, and they will come by and take a statement. They will also help get you to a medical professional immediately to:

• collect evidence, so you can prove who raped you.

• get a checkup, to make sure that the rapist did not harm your insides in any way.

• provide you with any medical care, including tests for sexually transmitted diseases, emergency contraception (if you are a woman who was raped by a man who did not wear a condom) and more.

Once you have taken care of your physical health, you need to start taking care of your emotional and psychological health. This means talking with people who are trained in working with sexual abuse and rape survivors. It also means connecting with others who have been through something similar to what you’ve been through.

A great place to start is with the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN). In addition to having really helpful resources on their Web site, they operate a 24-hour National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

Another great Web site is Promote Truth, which gives teens information about sexual violence.

And remembering that boys and men can be raped and abused sexually, too, there is the National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization.

Most rape survivors will tell you that they were able to heal more effectively from rape or abuse by working both with an individual counselor and a support group. Your parent(s) or caregiver(s) can connect you with these types of resources. Or you can find out more about counseling through RAINN’s Web site.

An important step to healing from rape or sexual abuse is by going back to the beginning, like when you learned your ABCs. You need to remember that:

You are not Alone
You are not to Blame
You are not Crazy

If you need other kinds of hotlines, you can find them here.