“The most important thing is to be happy. And that goes for a lot more then being happy with weight; that goes for life.”
—Russell, 18, Canada
I was just raped. I'm scared and don't know what to do. Can you help me?
First and foremost, what happened was not your fault. It was not your fault even if you were dressed really sexy. It was not your fault even if the person who raped you is someone you’ve been seeing for a while or a relative or family friend. It was not your fault even if you started to be sexual with this person and changed your mind in the middle of it.
Anytime a person says “no” to sex and another person does not respect that and keeps going, it is rape. Rape is wrong, and it’s against the law.
Here’s what you need to do immediately:
1. If you have not yet done so, please do not shower. This may be hard, because you may be feeling really gross. But showering away the grossness also showers away some evidence, which the police will need if you decide to press charges. You have up to five years to press charges if you choose, but the evidence needs to be collected now.
2. Tell your parent(s) or caregiver(s) or another adult in your life who you know well and trust. They can help you negotiate the next steps in what you have to do.
3. Call the police. Just pick up the phone and dial 911. Let the police know what happened, and they will come by and take a statement. They will also help get you to a medical professional immediately to:
A great place to start is with the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN). In addition to having really helpful resources on their Web site, they operate a 24-hour National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
Another great Web site is Promote Truth, which gives teens information about sexual violence.
And remembering that boys and men can be raped and abused sexually, too, there is the National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization.
Most rape survivors will tell you that they were able to heal more effectively from rape or abuse by working both with an individual counselor and a support group. Your parent(s) or caregiver(s) can connect you with these types of resources. Or you can find out more about counseling through RAINN’s Web site.
An important step to healing from rape or sexual abuse is by going back to the beginning, like when you learned your ABCs. You need to remember that:
You are not Alone
You are not to Blame
You are not Crazy
If you need other kinds of hotlines, you can find them here.
Anytime a person says “no” to sex and another person does not respect that and keeps going, it is rape. Rape is wrong, and it’s against the law.
Here’s what you need to do immediately:
1. If you have not yet done so, please do not shower. This may be hard, because you may be feeling really gross. But showering away the grossness also showers away some evidence, which the police will need if you decide to press charges. You have up to five years to press charges if you choose, but the evidence needs to be collected now.
2. Tell your parent(s) or caregiver(s) or another adult in your life who you know well and trust. They can help you negotiate the next steps in what you have to do.
3. Call the police. Just pick up the phone and dial 911. Let the police know what happened, and they will come by and take a statement. They will also help get you to a medical professional immediately to:
- collect evidence, so you can prove who raped you.
- get a checkup, to make sure that the rapist did not harm your insides in any way.
- provide you with any medical care, including tests for sexually transmitted diseases, emergency contraception (if you are a woman who was raped by a man who did not wear a condom) and more.
A great place to start is with the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN). In addition to having really helpful resources on their Web site, they operate a 24-hour National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
Another great Web site is Promote Truth, which gives teens information about sexual violence.
And remembering that boys and men can be raped and abused sexually, too, there is the National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization.
Most rape survivors will tell you that they were able to heal more effectively from rape or abuse by working both with an individual counselor and a support group. Your parent(s) or caregiver(s) can connect you with these types of resources. Or you can find out more about counseling through RAINN’s Web site.
An important step to healing from rape or sexual abuse is by going back to the beginning, like when you learned your ABCs. You need to remember that:
You are not Alone
You are not to Blame
You are not Crazy
If you need other kinds of hotlines, you can find them here.
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Your Comments
RE: Rape....my girlfriend and her sister
Posted by: DanR on Jan 3rd, 2008 11:48am
I am so sorry to hear that your friends are going through
this. You are being a great friend by being there for them!
It is important that they know they have not done anything
wrong, and hopefully they will tell an adult that they trust
(a teacher or counselor at school) what is happening.
Recommend that your friends look through some of the
information we have on our site, including this FAQ:
http://www.sexetc.org/faq/abuse/2733. Also, they can check
out this site: http://www.rainn.org/.
Rape....my girlfriend and her sister
Posted by: Nolifer187 on Dec 22nd, 2007 11:23am
My girlfriend and her sister has constantly been touched and
raped by there father....I dont know what to doo... I just
got off the phone with her and shes crying and hurt. I dont
want to take things in my owns hands cause that will just
make things worse... I cant take this anymore and really
about to do something that might jeprodize my everyones
life...someone please help...
RE: No One Helped
Posted by: DanR on Nov 12th, 2007 1:06pm
I'm sorry to hear that no one has been in contact with you.
Know that this is not your fault and you do have the right
to have someone look into this for you. I would suggest that
you contact the RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National
Network) hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). There you will
be able to speak live with someone who can help you through
this and maybe suggest some ways to follow up with your
counselor who reported this for you. Good Luck!
No One Helped
Posted by: b1gm1stak3 on Nov 12th, 2007 2:55am
I was raped when I was 13 so I finally took charged and told
my therapist so she reported it to the police 3 months ago
and they haven't done anything since. What should I do? I
finally come foward and it seems like I got shut down.
A year ago...: Response
Posted by: StacieS on Aug 31st, 2007 2:36pm
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your advice. I
agree, it is incredibly important for people to get help. No
one should have to go through this alone!
A year ago...
Posted by: Love is Forever on Aug 31st, 2007 12:27am
a year ago I was raped on my high school graduation night.
He drugged my drink, led me away from my friends, took me to
his place, got me drunk, and raped me. I tried to scream out
but couldn't. I was scared and didn't tell anyone. I didn't
remember what happened for the longest time. I told my
boyfriend eventually and he helped me through it, He came
back and did it again 5 months later. If something happens
get help. Dont wait. There are people who care and know how
you feel.
raped on wednesday...: Response
Posted by: StacieS on Aug 13th, 2007 12:32pm
There is so much to say! I entered your question into Ask
the Experts so that I can write more back to you. Look for
an email at the address you used when you became a member.
There is a very good chance that Plan B will help you avoid
a pregnancy. It has a 75% effectiveness rate up to 5 days
after a rape (unprotected sex) takes place. It was such a
good idea to go see doctors. If you haven't already, please
find a counselor. You deserve some support right now! A
GREAT hotline is 1-800-656-HOPE.
raped on wednesday...
Posted by: mcrmy26 on Aug 12th, 2007 3:56am
My ex-boyfriend's best friend who is now my ex-boyfriend
raped me on wednesday. I think I'm pregnant and I've been to
the doctors but I wouldn't let them do a check up on me even
though they said it would be the best thing to do. I took th
morning after pill (Plan B) but I don't think it worked
because I took it on friday morning (like 2 am). What should
I do? I can't have a kid. I'm to young. And plus... I hate
babies :)
i am sorry,but dont worry you weren't defeated
Posted by: keneozegbe on Jul 24th, 2007 6:26am
if it has happened,its not your fault and the fact is ,who
ever did it has nothing to life.
get over it quickly as you
can. If you stop feeling bad about yourself, you'll make the
rapist guilty.
you can still be that person you wish to
be.
Join me in praying for you.Prayer heals.
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I Feel Your Pain
Posted by: softballchick22 on Jan 10th, 2008 5:29pm
I was raped when I was 11 and I beat it. And you can to.
First of all tell someone you trust and then get help to get
over the fear of it happening again. Once you do that then
physically you are on your way to recovery but mentally just
work at not remembering and never forget that you have
friends and family there to help you just like I did!! You
can do it....you are not alone!!!!