Basically, any time you’re forced to do anything sexual against your will, it’s rape or sexual abuse.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

“No” means NO.  When you clearly say no to any sexual suggestion or advances, your partner should stop, right away. If someone force you, even after you’ve clearly told that person no, then it’s rape. (Remember, when you say no, do it in a straight-forward way and move physically away from the person).

If you said “no” to any kind of sex and someone forces you, it is rape. This is true even if:

- You know the person or are already in a relationship with them.
- You have already had sex with this person. 
- You have already been fooling around with the person and either or both of you are aroused sexually.
- The person you are dating has bought you gifts, taken you out to dinner, or given you anything else.

It is NEVER the fault of the person who was raped.  Way too often, the first question a girl who has been raped by a guy is asked is, “What were you wearing?”  Meaning, if she was wearing something sexy then she was “asking for it.” That’s crazy.  And it implies that guys can’t control themselves at all. That’s not true, either.

Everyone has choices. People make good choices and bad choices. When a couple is getting sexually heated up and one person wants to stop, the other has two options -- respect the partner’s wishes or keep pushing. If they force their partner into any kind of sex, it’s rape. And that’s against the law.

You never have to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.  It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in a relationship with a person. It doesn’t matter if you’ve already had sex.  If you don’t want to do something, you have the right to say no. If your partner disrespects that limit and forces you, it’s rape or sexual abuse.

If you or someone you know has been raped or sexually abused, tell someone and get help. Go to a trusted adult—parent, teacher, counselor, clergy—or contact the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network at www.rainn.org. RAINN operates a 24-hour toll-free telephone hotline for people who are rape, abuse, and/or incest survivors.  The number is 1-800-656-HOPE. They can help.