Too often, people hear the words “rape” or “sexual harassment” and automatically figure the victim is female and the rapist is male. That’s not always true. Some women rape women or girls. Other women rape men or boys. And some men rape men or boys.

It’s hard for anyone to report rape or sexual abuse. But guys often have a harder time telling someone. He often feels like he’s not a “real man,” if he was raped by a woman. If the rapist was male and the guy who was raped was straight, he might worry the rape has “made him” gay. Or he may worry that others will think he’s gay. Neither is true. If a gay or bisexual guy is raped by another man, he’s often seen as “asking for it” or lying about it.

Just like girls, guys have nothing to feel guilty about or ashamed of. It’s always the rapist’s fault.

A rapist hurts another person, breaks the law and should be punished, whether they are male or female. Someone who has been raped has the right to heal physically and emotionally.

Two good places for male rape survivors to go for support are the National Organization on Male Sexual Victimization, www.nomsv.org, and Male Survivor, www.malesurvivor.org. Guys can also call the National Sexual Assault Hotline managed by the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-HOPE. They can help.