“There was no way I was going to get married just because I got pregnant. I wanted the fairy tale, not the shotgun wedding.”
—Brittany, 17, CA
I am 13 years old and I really want to have sex. Is it normal that a 13-year-old wants to have sex already?
There is nothing wrong with you. It is really normal for a 13-year-old boy or girl to think about sex a lot, be curious about sex and even want to try having sex. Sometimes these feelings may be overwhelming.
Some very powerful hormones have started to surge through your body by the time you’re 13. These hormone surges begin during puberty and have probably just started recently for you. These intense sexual feelings are something almost everyone experiences at some point. Some feel them as young as 13 and others when they are older.
Here is what is really important: Even though you may feel turned on or horny, it doesn’t mean you are ready to have sex. You aren’t. There is a lot more to having a good sexual experience than just feeling desire or being curious about what sex might feel like. It is really, really important to also have a healthy and trusting relationship with a partner before you have any kind sexual experience.
It is also important to understand all the good things and bad things that can result from having sex. Sex is just one of many ways to share intimacy with a partner and it has the most serious consequences, like getting pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
Some teens find that masturbation can help relieve their sexual feelings if they become overwhelming. Masturbation is when someone touches his or her own body for sexual pleasure. It can sometimes result in orgasm.
Eventually, you will decide when you are ready to be sexual with a partner. At that point, be sure you can talk openly with your partner, so that you can explain what you do want to do and don’t want to do. For example, maybe you feel comfortable kissing and rubbing with clothes on, but don’t want to go any further. Both partners need to know each other’s limits, so that no one feels forced, uncomfortable or regrets something the next day.
Someday you will feel ready for sex. Many teens wait until they’ve graduated from high school or are in a certain kind of committed relationship, like being in love, being with a person for a certain amount of time or married. At that point, make sure it is something you are 100% certain about and won’t have any regrets about. Talk to friends, parents or someone you trust to make sure this is a healthy decision. Take time to talk to your partner about it, too, and make sure it is what he/she also wants.
If you are having sex with a same-sex or opposite-sex partner make sure you both know how to practice safer sex. If you are having sexual intercourse with someone of the opposite gender, then make sure that you have already talked to your doctor or a health care provider at a clinic about what form of birth control to use. Also be sure you know how to use a condom correctly.
Like Sebastian says in “No Regrets: Teens on the First Time”, “[Teens] should only [have sex] because they want to, not because someone is forcing them, because it would be very sad if they regret it.”
Most likely if you really take time to make sure you are ready for sex, then it will feel good and you won’t regret it later. And isn’t that the point?
Some very powerful hormones have started to surge through your body by the time you’re 13. These hormone surges begin during puberty and have probably just started recently for you. These intense sexual feelings are something almost everyone experiences at some point. Some feel them as young as 13 and others when they are older.
Here is what is really important: Even though you may feel turned on or horny, it doesn’t mean you are ready to have sex. You aren’t. There is a lot more to having a good sexual experience than just feeling desire or being curious about what sex might feel like. It is really, really important to also have a healthy and trusting relationship with a partner before you have any kind sexual experience.
It is also important to understand all the good things and bad things that can result from having sex. Sex is just one of many ways to share intimacy with a partner and it has the most serious consequences, like getting pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
Some teens find that masturbation can help relieve their sexual feelings if they become overwhelming. Masturbation is when someone touches his or her own body for sexual pleasure. It can sometimes result in orgasm.
Eventually, you will decide when you are ready to be sexual with a partner. At that point, be sure you can talk openly with your partner, so that you can explain what you do want to do and don’t want to do. For example, maybe you feel comfortable kissing and rubbing with clothes on, but don’t want to go any further. Both partners need to know each other’s limits, so that no one feels forced, uncomfortable or regrets something the next day.
Someday you will feel ready for sex. Many teens wait until they’ve graduated from high school or are in a certain kind of committed relationship, like being in love, being with a person for a certain amount of time or married. At that point, make sure it is something you are 100% certain about and won’t have any regrets about. Talk to friends, parents or someone you trust to make sure this is a healthy decision. Take time to talk to your partner about it, too, and make sure it is what he/she also wants.
If you are having sex with a same-sex or opposite-sex partner make sure you both know how to practice safer sex. If you are having sexual intercourse with someone of the opposite gender, then make sure that you have already talked to your doctor or a health care provider at a clinic about what form of birth control to use. Also be sure you know how to use a condom correctly.
Like Sebastian says in “No Regrets: Teens on the First Time”, “[Teens] should only [have sex] because they want to, not because someone is forcing them, because it would be very sad if they regret it.”
Most likely if you really take time to make sure you are ready for sex, then it will feel good and you won’t regret it later. And isn’t that the point?
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Your Comments
Confused.
Posted by: B33FANDRICE on Sep 9th, 2008 10:28pm
I'm 13 and yes I'm horny....But i have a question if I do it
do I have to be a certain age? Because I was reading one
reply to someone and they said that if u really think you
are ready and your partner is ready you should do it. But
that girl was 13.
RE: is this normal?
Posted by: DanR on Sep 2nd, 2008 2:44pm
Yes...it is very normal. Right now there are a lot of
hormones in your body and you are probably very curious
about sex as well. That is OK. The thing to remember is
that you should not jump into having sex just because of
these feelings. Having sex is a big decision to make and
there are a lot consequences that come with it (like
possible STDs and/or pregnancy). You want to make sure that
you are physically and emotionally ready before taking that
step.
is this normal?
Posted by: ss5990 on Aug 28th, 2008 10:05pm
im 15 years old going on 16 and ive had a bf for almost 7
months now.weve done alot of things and sometimes when he
does it to me (it feels really good)i like feel like i
wanna have sex with him right then and there.. is that
normal for me to feel?
RE:I'm Depressed
Posted by: Holly_berry on Jul 30th, 2008 3:56pm
Look i'm a girl so this will probably might be slightly
weird but i'm still a virgin out of all my friends and it's
annoying i have lots of boyfriends but THEY are not ready!
And thats annoying so i imagine you must be worst off! Hang
in there you'll find that special person one day and when
you finally have sex it'll be more special than your mates
who rushed into with someone they probably don't love very
truly...x
How will i get pleasure!!????
Posted by: Holly_berry on Jul 30th, 2008 3:49pm
i have to get horny every night or else i can't sleep!!! But
online i went on a chat room and had cybersex or what they
call roleplay and i felt really good!! I've tried to not go
back but i do because otherwise i don't get that lovely
feeling again!! And my bf hasn't matured like that yet he
talks about sex but he's never talked about getting horny
with me.
RE: am i crazy?
Posted by: DanR on Jul 25th, 2008 12:44pm
No, you are not crazy at all. In fact, it is perfectly
normal for people to touch their genitals from the time they
are born. For young babies, it provides a feeling of
comfort, and for toddlers is is a way of exploring their
bodies. There is nothing sexual about it as a young child.
Even as you get older now and enter your adolescent years,
you may continue to find this to be a way of exploring your
body to see what feels good to you sexually. There is
nothing crazy about that.
am i crazy?
Posted by: tiggerfan on Jul 24th, 2008 2:55pm
I think i started masterbating when i was like 3, and had to
do it every night before i could go to sleep. I still
sometimes do it to go to sleep, but am I crazy?
Re: Hmmmm??
Posted by: aveaveave on Jul 16th, 2008 12:03am
I think that if you are absolutely SURE that you're ready
and your bf is too - then go for it. You and your mom are
different people and sexuality is something personal and
different for people. You are the only one who knows whether
you're ready and if its good for you or not. But you need to
be really confident in your desire and your partner...and if
you do decide to have sex - be safe! Then no pregnancy
problems should occur.
Hmmmm??
Posted by: mandy_13 on Jul 11th, 2008 7:02pm
I've always wanted to have sex and/or oral sex..but my mom
always tells me that it's good to wait until marriage. I
don't want to! I don't think I can wait that long!! I just
want to know how it feels. But I really don't want to get
pregnant either. I'm 13, and I have a bf, I'm sure he wants
to also. But still!! Any one have any thoughts??
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RE: Confused.
Posted by: DanR on Sep 10th, 2008 2:26pm
You are correct...each state has what is called the "Age of
Consent." This is the minimum age in which that states
feels that a person is old enough to agree to be involved in
a sexual relationship. That does not mean that every person
that age is actually physically or emotionally ready to have
sex, that is just a guideline. It would, however, be
illegal for anyone under that age to have sex. Check out:
http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm for more
information on your state.