“The first time I had sex is something I regret very much. Now that I think about it, I was very young and naive and irresponsible. I believe that I was under the...”
—Lee, 17, Oregon
Sex Education by Teens, for Teens!
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“The first time I had sex is something I regret very much. Now that I think about it, I was very young and naive and irresponsible. I believe that I was under the...”
—Lee, 17, Oregon
What is secondary virginity?
Sometimes, a person has sex, whether it’s vaginal, oral or anal, and then decides that it was a bad decision. They regret having sex and want to stop. They want to sort of “not count” those sexual experiences and reclaim their virginity. This is called “secondary virginity.”
They might decide that, after not having sex for a certain period of time, they’ll consider themselves a virgin again.
In other cases, a person – guy or girl – might have been raped or abused and so they were robbed of the right to make this important decision for themselves. Since they were forced to have sex, then it doesn’t really count and they consider themselves virgins until they make the choice to have sex with someone they like or love.
This works for a lot of people. And that’s good. But, it’s also important to count any sexual experiences you’ve had (consenting or not) as part of your sexual history. Your risk of exposure to disease depends on whether you’ve had sex. If you have been exposed to sexually transmitted infections, then you need to protect yourselves and any future partners from infection.