“The most important thing is to be happy. And that goes for a lot more then being happy with weight; that goes for life.”
—Russell, 18, Canada
What is secondary virginity?
Sometimes, a person has sex, whether it’s vaginal, oral or anal, and then decides that it was a bad decision. They regret having sex and want to stop. They want to sort of “not count” those sexual experiences and reclaim their virginity. This is called “secondary virginity.”
They might decide that, after not having sex for a certain period of time, they’ll consider themselves a virgin again.
In other cases, a person – guy or girl – might have been raped or abused and so they were robbed of the right to make this important decision for themselves. Since they were forced to have sex, then it doesn’t really count and they consider themselves virgins until they make the choice to have sex with someone they like or love.
This works for a lot of people. And that’s good. But, it’s also important to count any sexual experiences you’ve had (consenting or not) as part of your sexual history. Your risk of exposure to disease depends on whether you’ve had sex. If you have been exposed to sexually transmitted infections, then you need to protect yourselves and any future partners from infection.
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Your Comments
Secondary Virginity
Posted by: StacieS on Jan 30th, 2007 9:43am
Thanks for the update, Dr. Darcy. For anyone reading this,
keep in mind that virginity means different things to
different people so a new hymen may not be meaningful to
everyone, and in general, the physical presense of a hymen
is not an accurate indicator of sexual experience. However,
I recognize that rebuilding a hymen may be extremely
important to some people.
Secondary virginity
Posted by: DrDarcy on Jan 26th, 2007 7:33pm
Actually, there is physically such a thing as "secondary
virginity." A plastic surgeon can create a new hymen,
especially for girls who have been raped or had unwanted
sex. Then, physically a girl can experience a renewal of
virginity and choose when to share that. From: Dr. Darcy,
author of "Virgin Sex for Girls."
physically speaking
Posted by: StacieS on Jan 16th, 2007 12:07pm
Actually, physically speaking there is no such thing as
'virginity' period. A doctor could never look at a girl or a
guy and determine their level of sexual involvement. For
example: What is "physical" virginity for men? What is
"physical" virginity for girls who were born without hymens,
or broke their hymens in a gym class, riding a bike or using
a tampon? What is virginity or loss thereof for a woman who
doesn't desire vaginal penetration? The hymen definition of
virginity just doesn't work.
Unfortunate, but true
Posted by: tabright on Jan 13th, 2007 7:53am
Physically, there is no such thing as "secondary virginity".
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how can u b a virgin if u've had sex b4
Posted by: emoangel1625 on Jun 21st, 2008 11:40pm
im not a virgin,an i kno i wont ever b a virgin again.