The most common cause of painful intercourse is too little vaginal lubrication. When a girl or woman feels turned on sexually, the walls of her vagina respond by releasing a liquid that wets or “lubricates” the vagina. This makes it easier for something to enter the vagina.

Your partner may be trying to insert a penis or finger before you’ve had time to become excited enough to become lubricated or “wet.” If your partner is the one initiating sex, it may take a little while for you to “catch up” in terms of your level of arousal. Be sure you and your partner take your time, and don’t leave out foreplay (kissing and caressing), which helps produce lubrication.

When using a condom, dental dam or latex glove, you may need to add lubrication. You can buy water-based lubricants at the store. Don’t use petroleum jelly, lotion that has oil in it or baby oil, though, because oil-based products cause latex to disintegrate.

Another reason intercourse may be painful is if you are tense or worried. This can cause the vaginal entrance to tighten up so that inserting something feels painful. If you feel unsure about having sex or are worried about getting pregnant or an STD, this is a sign that it’s probably not a good idea to have sex at this point or, at the very least, that you and your partner need to talk about how to protect yourselves from both pregnancy and/or STDs.

It is also important to talk to your gynecologist if you are experiencing pain during intercourse. It is possible that you may have an infection or other medical conditions. It’s best to get it checked out, just to be on the safe side. Find a clinic if you don’t already have a regular gynecologist here.