“My parents do not approve of my co-ed friendships and that is the BIGGEST argument in the house. When a guy calls the house, it's like the apocalypse!”
—Sadia, 17, Washington, D.C.
I'm a female about to have sex for the first time. I want to know, will sex hurt? Will there be blood?
Many girls don’t experience pain or bleeding the first time they have sexual intercourse. Others do. There are some things girls and their partners can do to lessen the chance that she will experience pain and bleeding.
Girls are born with a hymen, which is a thin elastic (stretchy) piece of skin that partially covers the entrance to the vagina. When there is pain or bleeding during first-time vaginal intercourse it may be due to the hymen getting stretched or torn. This is also called “popping her cherry.”
Some hymens are very thin and others are thick. You can see pictures of hymens here. Many girls tear or stretch their hymens before they ever experience vaginal intercourse for the first time, and they usually don’t know this has happened. Some of the ways hymens becomes stretched or torn are:
Another common reason why sex hurts is because a girl hasn't been sexually aroused enough during foreplay. When a girl becomes sexually excited, the inside of her vagina releases a special lubricating fluid that makes her vagina wet, and that helps sex feel good. If she hasn’t been sexually aroused, her vagina is usually dry before a partner places fingers, his penis or a sex toy into her. And that hurts. Some couples also like to buy lubrication from the store, like K-Y Jelly or Astroglide to help sex feel better.
Sex also hurts when you're scared or not ready for it. Girls who are having sex for the first time tend to be nervous. They tighten their thigh muscles, and this tightens the vaginal muscles, too. This can make sex painful. So it's important to relax. The best way to do this is with a partner who you know and trust. Someone you can talk to before, during or after sex, and who's willing to go slow and make the first time more pleasurable is the right partner.
Be sure to take care of sexual transmitted disease (STD) prevention and birth control first. You can find a clinic here. And remember, a medical professional can also talk with you about your concerns about painful sex.
Girls are born with a hymen, which is a thin elastic (stretchy) piece of skin that partially covers the entrance to the vagina. When there is pain or bleeding during first-time vaginal intercourse it may be due to the hymen getting stretched or torn. This is also called “popping her cherry.”
Some hymens are very thin and others are thick. You can see pictures of hymens here. Many girls tear or stretch their hymens before they ever experience vaginal intercourse for the first time, and they usually don’t know this has happened. Some of the ways hymens becomes stretched or torn are:
- Bicycle riding
- Gymnastics
- Using a tampon
- Masturbating by inserting fingers or an object
- Being fingered by a partner
Another common reason why sex hurts is because a girl hasn't been sexually aroused enough during foreplay. When a girl becomes sexually excited, the inside of her vagina releases a special lubricating fluid that makes her vagina wet, and that helps sex feel good. If she hasn’t been sexually aroused, her vagina is usually dry before a partner places fingers, his penis or a sex toy into her. And that hurts. Some couples also like to buy lubrication from the store, like K-Y Jelly or Astroglide to help sex feel better.
Sex also hurts when you're scared or not ready for it. Girls who are having sex for the first time tend to be nervous. They tighten their thigh muscles, and this tightens the vaginal muscles, too. This can make sex painful. So it's important to relax. The best way to do this is with a partner who you know and trust. Someone you can talk to before, during or after sex, and who's willing to go slow and make the first time more pleasurable is the right partner.
Be sure to take care of sexual transmitted disease (STD) prevention and birth control first. You can find a clinic here. And remember, a medical professional can also talk with you about your concerns about painful sex.
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Your Comments
RE: Plz help me.
Posted by: DanR on Oct 9th, 2008 3:20pm
It is possible that the bleeding you experienced was a
result of your hymen tearing if this was your first tie
having penile-vaginal intercourse. If that is not the case,
it is also possible that the bleeding was a result of a tear
in the vaginal walls. That happens sometimes if there is
not a lot of lubrication. If the bleeding has not
continued, it is likely that it is one of these too options.
If you are still concerned, I would suggest that you see a
health care provider near you.
Plz help me.
Posted by: sonalsonal on Oct 8th, 2008 7:57am
I had sex with my boy friend last day.but at the time of
having sex suddenly bleeding starts for a while then it
stopped.my period date is on 12th of this month,but how it
happen,and now it is not bleeding.and last day first time he
inserted fully,is it for that reason or what.I don not know
what what happen to me.can you please help me?and tell me
what happen to me?
RE: Wonderingg.
Posted by: DanR on Sep 22nd, 2008 2:27pm
It is possible, but not likely. The inside of the vagina is
very elastic (stretchy)...remember it is made to birth a
child. The actual opening of the vagina, is also stretchy,
but the skin can tear if the guys penis is too big. A lot of
times, if the girls hymen is in tact, it may feel like the
penis can't fit in because the hymen has not been stretched
or torn and it can cause pain or discomfort. Using a water
based lubricant can sometimes help if you are experiencing
pain. I hope that helps.
Wonderingg.
Posted by: brady10 on Sep 21st, 2008 9:25pm
This may seem like a stupid question but is it possible that
the guy's penis physically cannot fit inside the vagina?
RE: awww
Posted by: tikitori75 on Sep 7th, 2008 1:25am
the same thing went for me. i was nervous that it was going
to hurt to have sex.. well it did a little in the spot where
your vagina starts to curve, but after a little while it
felt good. for thoes who are nervous that your going to
bleed a lot, i barely bled when my hymen ripped, and i was
so in the mood that i didn't feel any pain. but sometimes
your hymen doesn't rip, and just stretches out. just when
you go pee, your hymen may sting a little.
aww
Posted by: Bunneyjaime on Aug 23rd, 2008 3:46pm
well my first tome was with my b/f and i was so nervous i
mean i wanted to but i never had done it .. i told him to go
slow on me but it did hurt for a few seconds i didnt feel
pain the second time with him=)...
RE: Question...
Posted by: DanR on Aug 18th, 2008 10:33am
It's impossible for me (or anyone) to tell you if
intercourse is going to hurt the first time you do it. To
reduce the risk, you will want to make sure you are well
lubricated and relaxed, but there is still no guarantee that
it will not hurt. You can also talk to your partner ahead
of time about the possibility of there being blood so that
he doesn't freak out. You can try to see if your hymen is
in place by using a mirror and a flashlight to see if it is
in tact. Be safe!
Question...
Posted by: VegasBabi777 on Aug 15th, 2008 10:11am
Ok so I did gymnastics for 6 years and I use tampons. I
can't use the big tampons because it hurts too bad. Does
that mean that it will hurt the first time I have sex? Also,
idk if my hymen is broken and my friend bled through three
towels and had to go to the hospital. I'm so scared to
bleed. Most guys don't know about girls bleeding and they
freak out...thanks!
RE: worried -_-
Posted by: DanR on Jul 30th, 2008 3:04pm
I'm not a doctor, and unfortunately, no one will be able to
accurately diagnose your situation online. The problem
could be something fairly simple like lack of lubrication,
so, try using a water based personal lubricant. You may
also want to try to be a little more gentle the next time
you have sex or masturbate. If that does not work, and the
bleeding continues, you definitely will need to make
arrangements to somehow see a health care provider. Don't
take risks with your health!
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itchy...
Posted by: tikitori75 on Oct 10th, 2008 10:11am
2 days ago i had sex with my boyfriend and now my hymen is
itchy. its never happened before.. at least not this long.
is it something to worry about?