“Make sure you know your partner. You might think he or she is perfect. But they might have a sexual history before you, and they are too shy to let it out.”
—Joshua, 17, New Jersey
I just found out that I have an STD. What do I tell my partner?
 |
 |
 |
If you do end up testing positive for an STD, know that you are not alone. It can be helpful to get more information about it so you can know the facts before you talk to anyone else about it. Your doctor, a family planning counselor, or a tester can often be a good person to talk to about any questions you might have about treatment and transmission. Sometimes people need some time to get used to the news themselves before they feel comfortable talking about it with another person.
Some people get really nervous thinking about talking to a partner about an STD diagnosis. They might be afraid that their partner will be upset, dump them, say mean things to them, or even go around telling other people. Even if you’re nervous, it can be really important to talk with your partner or partners about your diagnosis. If you have an STD, there is a chance that they either have it, as well, or they have been exposed to it. It will be important for them to get tested, too, so that if it turns out you both have it then you can both be treated together. If only one person in a partnership is treated, you can get reinfected right away.
Regardless of whether you have a bacterial, viral or parasitic STD, practicing safer sex can help minimize the risk of transmitting it to a partner or getting reinfected. Talking with a partner about an STD diagnosis is something that is usually best done in a non-sexual situation. In other words, don’t wait to mention it until the clothes are flying off! You can let your partner know that you got tested and what the results are. It might help to have some information about the STD, including how to reduce risk of transmission, to share with your partner. You can encourage your partner to also get tested and treated, if it turns out that your partner also tests positive.
Safety is important. You’re the expert on your own situation so you probably have an idea of whether it is safe to share this information with your partner. If you feel that you would be physically unsafe if you shared your STD status with a partner, you may be able to get support doing so. Talk with your doctor or clinic staff about whether they might be able to help inform partners that you tested positive for an STD. If you feel unsafe in your relationship, you can also get support from the National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline, at 1-866-331-9474 (TTY: 1-866-331-8453), or online via peer advocate instant messenger support at loveisrespect.org.
Talking honestly with a partner can sometimes be tough but sometimes our partners can surprise us. Making sure everyone in your relationship stays safe is a really important part of being in a healthy relationship. Take the time that you need to get the facts for yourself, and then you can share them with partners.
 |
 |
Answer, Rutgers University © 2010. All Rights Reserved.
Developed by MSSG, Office of Information Technology
