Many people use the motto: "Safer sex or no sex!" While we applaud this sentiment, we also recognize that asking a stubborn partner to use a condom can be a bit trickier than a catchy motto.

In a perfect world, it would be easy to have an honest, sexy conversation about safer sex with your partner before you even start kissing, so that nothing is left to chance. Talking about protection before you turn up the heat can give you time to think and come up with reasonable responses to any protests from a partner. But the truth is that many people find themselves trying to convince a partner to use a condom at the moment when they are feeling most turned on, most emotionally or physically vulnerable, or even drunk.

If you take the time beforehand to have this important conversation, then you can head off any potential problems. For example, if you let your partner know that you want to use a condom, and he or she feels defensive about it, then you can take time to let him or her know that you want to use a condom because you care about him or her, your sex life together and the future of your relationship.

If your partner feels threatened by being asked to use a condom, then try non-verbal communication. You could leave information about the importance of safer sex in a place where he or she would be sure to find it, or place the condom in plain view next to the bed.

If your partner feels resistant because he or she thinks condoms ruin sexual pleasure, then see this story.

You may also want to share with them your safer-sex concerns and some data to back up your concerns:

• Every hour of every day around the world, two young people are infected with HIV.
  
• Teens get STDs. One out of every four sexually active teens gets infected with an STD each year.
  
• You cannot see or smell most STD infections. That means you can't just look at a partner and know whether or not he or she is already infected.
  
• Pulling out is not effective at preventing pregnancy. About 27% of women become pregnant in the first year when their partners "pull out."
  
• Having a child in the U.S. costs at least $10,000 a year, which could buy a lot of video games, car enhancements, clothes, or a college education!

If you are in the heat of the moment and you need to express yourself quickly, here are some lines you could use to persuade a partner to use a condom:

She says, "I'm on the Pill, don't worry."
You say, "I trust you. But I want to protect both of us just in case."

He says, "We already did it without a condom once."
You say, "And that was a mistake. I worried about being pregnant all month!"

She says, "What--a condom? Are you trying to say that I've cheated on you?"
You say, "I trust you. I use condoms because I care about you, and me, and our future together."

He says, "I always pull out in time, don't worry."
You say, "I know, but when we use a condom you don't have to pull out. It can feel even better."

She says, "I can't feel anything when you wear a condom."
You say, "That's awful! Let's wait then and try another brand or size that fits me better and some special ‘warming' lubricant tomorrow."

He says, "I can't keep a hard on with a condom."
You say, "I can't relax and enjoy sex without a condom. So I'll help you stay hard."