In a thousand different ways!

 
Often young people don't want their partner to think they were "planning" on having sex since it seems more romantic for sex to "just happen." Also, many young people don't want to look like they were expecting to have sex for fear that they will look like a "player," or a "slut." Although this is understandable—since sexual rumors that fly at school and between groups of friends can really hurt—unfortunately it keeps many teens from talking openly about sex and protection.

The bottom line? While letting sex "just happen" may feel romantic or protect your reputation as a "nice" girl or guy, it doesn't go very far to protect your health.

Ideally, you should talk about using a condom before you even start getting sexual. When you talk openly about your expectations both you and your partner understand that if you do have sex, then protection is a must. You could ask your partner, "Hey, what's your favorite condom brand?" or "Is there a drug store near your place to buy condoms... ya know, just in case we decide we want to do that?"

When you talk about using a condom, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have committed to having sex. It just means that you place a strong value on using condoms. Remember, if suddenly you realize that sex doesn't feel OK, you always have the right to say "no," even at the last second. All partners need to respect the right of anyone at anytime to change his or her mind.

If you find that it is really difficult for you to talk openly about using a condom, then you have to make sure that you always have one on you--just in case. You could take the condom out of your purse or wallet and lay it next to the bed so that your partner will be sure to see it, or simply say, "Someone gave me this last week as a joke, but I'm glad I still have it with me!"

Here are a few teens' tips on bringing up condoms with a partner:

"When my girlfriend and I talked about sex, there was never any question about condom usage. When we first started talking, neither of us was sure that sex was the right thing for our relationship, but we were sure of one thing: if we decided to, the condition for both of us is that we use a condom." --Max, 17

"I'd simply ask, ‘You have protection right?' If they said ‘no' then I'd tell them ‘no deal... no condom no sex, but most importantly no STDs.'" --Kristen, 17

"When we're kissing I ask my boyfriend, 'Hey, you have a condom right? Just in case?' If he says 'no' then I let him know I'm going home early so that we aren't even tempted to go without!" --Malik, 18

"My girlfriend buys condoms in bulk from a Web site and I pay her back for half. That way we both know we have plenty of condoms, we both know we want to use them, and we both pay for them. It works for us!" --Drew, 19