“With my current girlfriend, there is a lot of T-A-L-K about sex, pleasure and contraception. It is equally important, if not more, that she enjoys sex as much as me.”
—Russell, 18, Canada
I am interested in dating this guy, but he is much older than I am. What should I do?
There are some problems with teens dating guys who are four or more years older than they are and you need to make sure you are aware of them before you decide what you should do.
The first is very important for you to think about. Why is a man many years older wanting to date you? It may be that he cares about you. But it may also be that he has a need to have power. Because you are younger and less experienced in life than he is, you will be easier for him have power over. Often, when older guys date younger teens, there is more pressure on the teen to have sex and more pressure to drink (in some states, if the guy is over 18, he can do it legally). You might drift away from your friends because the older guy finds them too young and you may later regret that. Also, in most states, an older guy having sex with a younger teen is against the law. Think about these things before you decide.
For more information, check out the stories written by teens on this topic like "Older Guys: Dreamy or Dangerous."
The first is very important for you to think about. Why is a man many years older wanting to date you? It may be that he cares about you. But it may also be that he has a need to have power. Because you are younger and less experienced in life than he is, you will be easier for him have power over. Often, when older guys date younger teens, there is more pressure on the teen to have sex and more pressure to drink (in some states, if the guy is over 18, he can do it legally). You might drift away from your friends because the older guy finds them too young and you may later regret that. Also, in most states, an older guy having sex with a younger teen is against the law. Think about these things before you decide.
For more information, check out the stories written by teens on this topic like "Older Guys: Dreamy or Dangerous."
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Your Comments
Confused
Posted by: Tennisgurl on Feb 11th, 2008 5:06pm
I like this guy and he's 2 months older than i am wich is no
big deal but how do i kno if he likes me without asking him
and embarrising myself
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RE: Confused
Posted by: DanR on Feb 18th, 2008 10:56am
Don't worry, you are certainly not alone. Everyone (even
adults) has this problem at one time or another. Dating or
getting to know someone is awkward enough at the beginning,
but then trying to find out how that person feels about you
can make it even harder. Unfortunately, the only person who
can tell you for sure how he feels, is him. I would suggest
talking to him, or if you are too embarrassed, write him a
note. Some people find that an easier way to express how
they feel. Good Luck!