Sex, Etc. -- I’ve been going out with someone for a...

I’ve been going out with someone for a long time, but lately I’m not really interested anymore. How do I know if I should end it?

Sometimes, even when people love and care about each other, relationships end. A couple might discover they have different values, like one wants children and the other doesn’t. Sometimes, couples are forced to live far apart and the relationship can’t survive the distance. Other times, two people have differences that make the relationship unhealthy for one or both. And sometimes, the fizz just fades.

It takes time to know if someone is right for you. If you’ve lost interest, chances are you need time alone and maybe time to date other people. So you have to work up the courage to talk to your partner about your feelings.

Sometimes, when couples can come to a decision together about a relationship, there’s a lot less anger than if one person just ends it. So, maybe instead of saying it’s over for good, you just “take a break.” That can give you the space you need to decide how you really feel.

It’s not always possible to come to an agreement. And that usually means angry, hurt feelings. But even these are better than staying in a relationship that’s no longer working.

Your Comments

im scared im gunna hurt his feelings....

Posted by: gnomechick1 on Oct 5th, 2008 6:34am

what do i do if ive fallen out of love with a certain
person, and he's still in love with me. should i end it or
should i see if i can fall back in love with him. wev'e been
together for 2 years now.

RE: the first time around & oo, one more thing

Posted by: DanR on Jul 22nd, 2008 2:07pm

Anything is possible. In some situations people do meet a
person and spend the rest of their lives with them, but this
is pretty rare. It is important that you are true to your
own feelings. In order for a relationship to be healthy,
it has to be what BOTH people want. It does not sound
healthy if you're afraid of your boyfriends actions. If he
is suicidal, I suggest looking at our IN A CRISIS page and
look for some resources that you can pass along to him.
Good Luck!

oo, one more thing

Posted by: no_name on Jul 17th, 2008 3:49pm

we do have conversations about how i feel about the
relationship, but sumtimes i'm scared to say anything else
because i'm afraid he'll do something drastic, like cut
himself (he's suicidal and taking medicine, but i don't
think that's enough. he was seeing a therapist, but she told
him that he no longer needed to see her, i think it might
have been too soon) is this healthy?

the first time around

Posted by: no_name on Jul 17th, 2008 3:47pm

my boyfriend and i have been going out for 8 months. he's
had other girlfriends, and he has told me plenty of time
that i am the one for him; he is so positive. he keeps
telling me that he doesn't know what he'd do with out me and
such...he's my first boyfriend, and as much as i love him,
i'm not sure about that whole "the one" thing. i've told him
my feelings and he kinda understands. is it possible to find
the one the first time around?

RE: year long

Posted by: DanR on Jan 14th, 2008 10:52am

The only person who will be able to tell you what your
boyfriend is thinking is your boyfriend. Communication is
very important in a relationship, as is trust. It sounds
like you and your boyfriend need to keep talking and letting
each other know how you feel and decide together where your
relationship is going. Once you make that decision, it will
be important for both of you to trust that the other person
is true to their promise.

year long

Posted by: forgivexforget on Jan 13th, 2008 5:31pm

somtimes i get so angry with my boyfriend but other times i
love him soo much and can rarely get him out of my mind. we
have been going out for a year and things are great but
somtimes i feel like he doesnt understand me and im
alonewaiting with lost feelings, seeing him once a week has
helped becuase when we see eachother its really great. my
question is he has been talking about the future and its
kind of scary...is he trying to just say wut he thinks i
want to hear or is he seriuos about us

alone time

Posted by: jujubes18 on Sep 10th, 2007 4:56am

being with someone for a long time is very benificial for
communication but bordom can occur. my b/f and i are
clingier than normal and our relationship has suffered for
that because we know each other more than anyone and act as
if we were married but recently we spend only one day of the
weekend together and it really helped. alone time is good in
small doses during the realtionship.

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