It’s hard to believe sometimes, but most parents have their kids’ best interests at heart, especially when they’re making rules. And since you depend on your parents for shelter, food and money, you have little choice but to abide by their rules and values.

The best advice we can offer is to respect your parents’ wishes and, little by little, try to show them you’re responsible enough to handle dating. That means helping around the house, doing well in school, being respectful and making good choices.

Try to understand their perspective. What are they worried about? What are they trying to protect you from? Once you understand this, you can start to negotiate—respectfully—for a little more space. You can find ways to calm their fears, maybe by dating in groups, for example. Start small and work your way up. Once you earn their trust, many parents will reward you with more freedom.

If your parents have strong religious beliefs or racial taboos about dating, that’s a tougher sell. You can try to get help from a family or school counselor. Or you might just have to wait it out until you’re on your own and able to make your own decisions.