There are many kinds of abuse that can happen within a relationship. Some are kinds are easier to spot, like physical and sexual violence against another person. But physical and sexual abuse are not the only kinds of abuse that happen in relationships. Sometimes the abuse is emotional. Some people verbally abuse their partners, criticizing, calling them names and teasing them. One partner may withhold affection, withdraw, get angry or say threatening or controlling things. If a person feels unsafe in a relationship, chances are the relationship is unhealthy.

Many times, abuse can be hard to recognize and understand. One of the reasons abuse can sometimes be hard to recognize and understand is that an abusive person may not always seem abusive. An abusive person might seem like a nice person a lot of the time, and they might say that they care or are in love. Those moments that seem good in the relationship can actually be a part of the cycle of abuse.

In the cycle of abuse, there will be a build-up of tension or stress before some kind of abusive incident happens. If you’re being abused, you might feel like you’re walking on eggshells, trying to be careful and not annoy or set off the abusive person in your life. After the build-up, usually the abusive person does something abusive, whether it’s physical, emotional, sexual or another type of abuse. Then it gets a little more confusing because there’s usually a period of calm or even pleasantness after the abuse. The abuser might apologize and swear it will never happen again. He or she might say they will change. She or he might bring you presents or be really nice to you to make up for what the abuse. But usually the cycle just starts over again and there will be more tension and more abuse. Abuse rarely stops all by itself, but there are ways to get help if you think you are being abused.

Relationships should involve a give and take of love, respect and appreciation. Exposure to any kind of abuse for a long time can damage a person’s physical and emotional health.