“Sexuality is a big issue. Some teens find it hard to figure out whether they are straight, bi or gay.”
—Sophie, 14, Washington
Sex Education by Teens, for Teens!
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“Sexuality is a big issue. Some teens find it hard to figure out whether they are straight, bi or gay.”
—Sophie, 14, Washington
I’m 15 and going out with a guy who’s 20. What is the big deal?
In some cases, it’s no big deal. But, lots of times, older people go out with much younger ones so they can control the relationship. It makes them feel more powerful.
Older guys, especially, tend to have more experience and more money. This can give them an unfair advantage over younger, teen girls, who have neither. That might show up as your older boyfriend always deciding where you go and what you do. It can also mean pressuring you to have sex.
Problems also crop up if the older person—who can be male or female—stops you from hanging out with friends your own age. That can get in the way of the normal process of growing from a teen to an adult.
If your relationship is sexual, you need to check the laws in your state. Your boyfriend could be guilty of statutory rape. All but two states consider it illegal for anyone over 18—male or female—to have sex with someone under 16. He could be sent to jail for it, even if you say you agreed to have sex.
Each relationship is different. Not all different-age relationships are bad. But, you’re young and you should be careful. If your friends or family are worried about your relationship, you’d be smart to listen.