“When I went to high school there were a lot of people who didn't know what a bisexual was, so I got a lot of, ‘what a freak!' And that's really upsetting.”
—Ash, 14, WA
I want to be intimate with my partner, but I don't want to have sex. Is this possible?
Yes. It's possible to be intimate with someone and still skip the sexual intercourse, which means vaginal, anal, or oral.
As you get to know each other, you will discover lots of things that feel good and make you feel closer, but don't lead to sexual intercourse.
The most important thing to do is talk with your partner before things get hot and heavy. You both have to be real clear about what kind of touching is allowed and what's off limits. So, is kissing OK, but not other touching? Is touching above the waist OK, but not below?
Make a promise to each other that things will stop at a certain point. Then agree that both of you are responsible for sticking to those limits. The last thing you want is for sex to "just happen." That's how too many teens ended up facing an unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STD).
Some couples have a code word that means, "Stop now! Things are going too far." If either partner uses the code word, both partners stop, cool down, and decide if things have gone too far. It's also a smart idea to keep condoms on hand, just in case.
And remember, if you ever have penis-in-vagina sex without a condom, girls can take a back-up method of birth control called emergency contraception (EC), also known as the "morning-after pill" or Plan B.
And if you have unprotected oral, vaginal, or anal sex, then you are also at risk for STDs. To find a clinic for STD testing near you, click here.
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Your Comments
True!
Posted by: iloveBlake on Feb 22nd, 2008 6:14pm
This is definately true , cause im not ready for sex just
yet, so me and my bf do other stuff cause theres the
consequences of teen pregnacy and stuff and im not ready for
anyhtign like that yet, so we do have a code word and it
really does make everyhting better than just saying stop!
So if you dont wnat to have sex thers always dry sex with is
where you have your clothes on and basically grind or "hump"
eahc other and you still have your clothes on and a lot of
ppl prefer that!!
true!
Posted by: dctrphil on Nov 11th, 2007 8:42pm
my boyfriend and i love each other and intimacy of some kind
is a healthy part of every relationship, because it is just
caused by a normal physical attraction and a comfort or love
between the two people. intimacy brings a couple that is in
love closer together, but sexual intercourse is not needed
for a relationship to blossom. if one of the two people
feels pressured to do something she/he does not want to do,
the relationship is most likely not a healthy one
Very true!
Posted by: AriGurl on Jul 2nd, 2007 11:12pm
Yesterday me and my boyfriend were talking about this exact
matter. The truth is i'm not ready to have sex even though
he is not a virgin and i am. It's really important to have
communication cuz u might ended hurting eachothers feelings.
The good thing is he doesn't pressure me at all, he's
totally got my back!
Agreed!
Posted by: Arius on Mar 21st, 2007 6:37pm
i totally agree with this. my girlfriend and i are very
intimate with each other and it's great. I'm not ready to
have sex, and neither is she, but it doesn't bother either
of us and neither of us are really pressured to go farther
than where we are.
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yes
Posted by: uncertainfreak on Apr 21st, 2008 10:19pm
i told my boyfriend that i didnt want to go too far (i wasnt
even talking about sex, just other stuff) and he just told
me to tell him whats allowed and what is not. So now, i tell
him. And what really suprises me is that i let him [for
example] grab my butt and he doesnt!! He doesnt do it!!