If you’re pregnant, you have three basic options (in alphabetical order):

1. Abortion
2. Adoption
3. Parenthood

When you face a difficult decision like this, it’s important to take the time to get informed about your options and to think about what’s right for you at this time in your life. It’s a good idea to talk to a trusted, caring adult to help you think it through. This might be a parent, relative, family friend, or a teacher, mentor or counselor. You can also go to a family planning clinic like Planned Parenthood; they have trained counselors who can help you think about the pros and cons of each option, so you can make a decision that would work best in your life.

To find a family planning clinic near you, you can use the National Family Planning & Reproductive Health Association’s health center directory to search by your ZIP code.

Some clinics, often called “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” will only talk to you about parenting and adoption. They don’t believe that abortion is ever a good choice for someone who is pregnant. If you’ve already ruled out abortion, then these clinics can possibly help you make a choice between parenthood and adoption. Otherwise, steer clear and go to places that will give you accurate information about all of the available options.

Depending on your relationship with the guy who helped create the pregnancy, it’s important to talk with him so he can share in what you’re going through. He helped create the pregnancy, and he will also have to deal with the results of the decision that you make. He certainly has the right to offer his input about the situation, but ultimately the decision is yours.

It’s also smart to talk to your parents or guardians. They might be disappointed, hurt or angry at first, but most parents and caregivers want to help their children. A lot of teens are surprised by how supportive their parents are after their parents get over the initial shock. Teens who opt to have the baby often rely on the support of their family to raise their child. And teens who opt for abortion are sometimes required to notify their parents or guardians, or get their parents’ or guardians’ consent if they are below a certain age. So, it’s very likely that you’ll have to involve them, no matter what you decide. In many cases, the father’s parents, too, can be a source of support and help.

When you are considering your options, here are some things to think about:

What’s best for you. How would having a child right now affect your day-to-day life—the way you spend your time and your money? What are your goals and dreams? How would having a child affect your future?

What’s best for children. What do you think it takes to raise a child successfully? What kind of family relationships and resources do you ideally want to provide to your child? Are you ready and able to be the kind of parent that you would want your child to have?

What feels right. What option feels right to you and why? Close your eyes and imagine actually choosing each of the three options. What’s your reaction: relief, calm, panic, fear, disgust? Let your gut help guide you to the right decision.

Your values and religious/spiritual beliefs. How do you feel about each of the options? Is there any option that is completely unacceptable to you? Do you have any strong moral, cultural, spiritual or religious beliefs about parenthood, abortion or adoption?

How this affects others. What would each choice mean to the people in your life that you’re closest to?

• The father. What’s your relationship like with him? How does he feel about the pregnancy? What does he want you to do? What kind of father would he be? Can you count on him to provide emotional and financial support to you and the child?
   
• Your parents or guardians. What’s your relationship like with them? What dreams did they have for your future and how does your pregnancy affect those dreams? What support can you expect from them? How would each of these options affect your parents’ lives?

Other sources of support. Are there other people—other adult relatives, religious leaders, teachers, coaches, counselors—who could possibly help you? What about programs—both for adoption and teen parenting—in your area?

Spend some time with yourself and really decide what you want. Listen to those you care about, but don’t give into pressure or go against your own heart to please them. This is your decision, one that you’ll live with for the rest of your life.