“Girls, your health is more important than sex for one night with a man that says he doesn't like the feel of a condom.”
—Lisa, 17, UK
I am 13 years old and I really want to have sex. Is it normal that a 13-year-old wants to have sex already?
There is nothing wrong with you. It is really normal for a 13-year-old boy or girl to think about sex a lot, be curious about sex and even want to try having sex. Sometimes these feelings may be overwhelming.
Some very powerful hormones have started to surge through your body by the time you’re 13. These hormone surges begin during puberty and have probably just started recently for you. These intense sexual feelings are something almost everyone experiences at some point. Some feel them as young as 13 and others when they are older.
Here is what is really important: Even though you may feel turned on or horny, it doesn’t mean you are ready to have sex. You aren’t. There is a lot more to having a good sexual experience than just feeling desire or being curious about what sex might feel like. It is really, really important to also have a healthy and trusting relationship with a partner before you have any kind sexual experience.
It is also important to understand all the good things and bad things that can result from having sex. Sex is just one of many ways to share intimacy with a partner and it has the most serious consequences, like getting pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
Some teens find that masturbation can help relieve their sexual feelings if they become overwhelming. Masturbation is when someone touches his or her own body for sexual pleasure. It can sometimes result in orgasm.
Eventually, you will decide when you are ready to be sexual with a partner. At that point, be sure you can talk openly with your partner, so that you can explain what you do want to do and don’t want to do. For example, maybe you feel comfortable kissing and rubbing with clothes on, but don’t want to go any further. Both partners need to know each other’s limits, so that no one feels forced, uncomfortable or regrets something the next day.
Someday you will feel ready for sex. Many teens wait until they’ve graduated from high school or are in a certain kind of committed relationship, like being in love, being with a person for a certain amount of time or married. At that point, make sure it is something you are 100% certain about and won’t have any regrets about. Talk to friends, parents or someone you trust to make sure this is a healthy decision. Take time to talk to your partner about it, too, and make sure it is what he/she also wants.
If you are having sex with a same-sex or opposite-sex partner make sure you both know how to practice safer sex. If you are having sexual intercourse with someone of the opposite gender, then make sure that you have already talked to your doctor or a health care provider at a clinic about what form of birth control to use. Also be sure you know how to use a condom correctly.
Like Sebastian says in “No Regrets: Teens on the First Time”, “[Teens] should only [have sex] because they want to, not because someone is forcing them, because it would be very sad if they regret it.”
Most likely if you really take time to make sure you are ready for sex, then it will feel good and you won’t regret it later. And isn’t that the point?
Some very powerful hormones have started to surge through your body by the time you’re 13. These hormone surges begin during puberty and have probably just started recently for you. These intense sexual feelings are something almost everyone experiences at some point. Some feel them as young as 13 and others when they are older.
Here is what is really important: Even though you may feel turned on or horny, it doesn’t mean you are ready to have sex. You aren’t. There is a lot more to having a good sexual experience than just feeling desire or being curious about what sex might feel like. It is really, really important to also have a healthy and trusting relationship with a partner before you have any kind sexual experience.
It is also important to understand all the good things and bad things that can result from having sex. Sex is just one of many ways to share intimacy with a partner and it has the most serious consequences, like getting pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
Some teens find that masturbation can help relieve their sexual feelings if they become overwhelming. Masturbation is when someone touches his or her own body for sexual pleasure. It can sometimes result in orgasm.
Eventually, you will decide when you are ready to be sexual with a partner. At that point, be sure you can talk openly with your partner, so that you can explain what you do want to do and don’t want to do. For example, maybe you feel comfortable kissing and rubbing with clothes on, but don’t want to go any further. Both partners need to know each other’s limits, so that no one feels forced, uncomfortable or regrets something the next day.
Someday you will feel ready for sex. Many teens wait until they’ve graduated from high school or are in a certain kind of committed relationship, like being in love, being with a person for a certain amount of time or married. At that point, make sure it is something you are 100% certain about and won’t have any regrets about. Talk to friends, parents or someone you trust to make sure this is a healthy decision. Take time to talk to your partner about it, too, and make sure it is what he/she also wants.
If you are having sex with a same-sex or opposite-sex partner make sure you both know how to practice safer sex. If you are having sexual intercourse with someone of the opposite gender, then make sure that you have already talked to your doctor or a health care provider at a clinic about what form of birth control to use. Also be sure you know how to use a condom correctly.
Like Sebastian says in “No Regrets: Teens on the First Time”, “[Teens] should only [have sex] because they want to, not because someone is forcing them, because it would be very sad if they regret it.”
Most likely if you really take time to make sure you are ready for sex, then it will feel good and you won’t regret it later. And isn’t that the point?
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Your Comments
Hmmmm??
Posted by: mandy_13 on Jul 11th, 2008 7:02pm
I've always wanted to have sex and/or oral sex..but my mom
always tells me that it's good to wait until marriage. I
don't want to! I don't think I can wait that long!! I just
want to know how it feels. But I really don't want to get
pregnant either. I'm 13, and I have a bf, I'm sure he wants
to also. But still!! Any one have any thoughts??
i don't know anymore
Posted by: HarmonyHatred! on Jul 10th, 2008 9:22pm
i've done oral with past boyfriends &i love the feeling &it
usually brought us closer, &made me trust them more. but
ever since then i've wanted to try sex, to know how the
"real thing" feels. i don't know what to do. i'm confused
&all my friends say it's great. i'm so confused. age doesn't
matter to me &neither does marrige, it's just the broken
heart regret thing. i've had friends who have hit it &quit
it, &they're just fine. i just don't know if I'll be the
same way. i just don't know anymore
Sex
Posted by: moonp678 on May 28th, 2008 4:59pm
Well first off its perfectly fone to feel that way i know
when i was 13 i felt that way to and i really wanted to know
what it feels like. Now im 16 and im gonna b 17 and omg im
soo happy i waited. Once you do it you cant go back and when
you find your love later on in life you cant give them that
special thing. I have many older friends and all of them who
lost it young said the WISH they could have waited... so
hang on to it becuz theres plenty more you can do other than
sex
RE: I'm Depressed
Posted by: DanR on May 5th, 2008 11:56am
First, I just want to say that a lot of teens are curious,
not everyone is having sex, and that is OK to be virgin.
Having sex is a big step and you don't want to take that
step with just anyone. There are a lot of things to take
into consideration (Like pregnancy and STDs). I hope that
you will talk to a trusted adult about the anger and
depression you are feeling. That doesn't sound healthy.
Every person experiences sex differently, so be patient, and
you will know what is right for you.
I'm Depressed
Posted by: ChrisMalcolm1992 on May 4th, 2008 11:49am
I'm 15 end of June, and all of my friends have lost their
virginity already, my best friend Jeremy is 16 1/2 and he
had sex with his girlfriend already (May I mention she is
very, very, very beautiful) and I'm the only one that still
a virgin, and I feel depressed, I haven't had a girlfriend
in over three years, and I'm turning into an angry monster!!
Please reply, what does sex feel like!!
RE: masturbation
Posted by: DanR on Apr 18th, 2008 2:21pm
It is very common and normal for children to touch and
explore their bodies at all ages (even younger then 7) and
it can be in a sexual way or a non-sexual way. Masturbation
is perfectly normal if you do it, and perfectly normal if
you do not. It is just a matter of personal preference, but
certainly not something you should feel awkward about.
Check out this story: http://www.sexetc.org/story/sex/1857.
Hopefully you will see there is no reason to think bad
thoughts about yourself.
thinking about it
Posted by: loveshim2much on Apr 17th, 2008 12:02pm
me and my boy friend want 2 do it but i'm still thinking
about just 2 make sure im ready, so if ur 11, 12, or 13
think about cuz u may change ur mind :)
masturbation
Posted by: beautiful_teen on Apr 16th, 2008 9:12pm
omg im really embarrased to say this but here it goes...i
started masturbating when i was 7 is that normal? and when i
was twelve i learned what fingering was and wanted to try it
so i did and i loved it! thats a bit wierd but its true and
im not gonna lie on here! this is the only place i feel
secure to tell people the things that happen to me! well any
ways i did it and the next day i felt soooo awkward even
though no body knows i just felt like a slut is that bad to
think about yourself?
RE: Sex
Posted by: DanR on Feb 18th, 2008 10:44am
As is says above, it is perfectly normal to be thinking
about sex with all the hormones that are surging through
you, even with different guys. The important thing to
remember is that even though you are curious or maybe feel
horny, acting on those feelings is a huge step. There are a
lot of risks involved with oral, anal or vaginal intercourse
(pregnancy, STDs, or a broken heart are just some). Make
sure you are ready and have a partner that you know well and
trust before you take that step.
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Re: Hmmmm??
Posted by: aveaveave on Jul 16th, 2008 12:03am
I think that if you are absolutely SURE that you're ready
and your bf is too - then go for it. You and your mom are
different people and sexuality is something personal and
different for people. You are the only one who knows whether
you're ready and if its good for you or not. But you need to
be really confident in your desire and your partner...and if
you do decide to have sex - be safe! Then no pregnancy
problems should occur.