The most common cause of painful intercourse is too little vaginal lubrication. When a girl or woman feels turned on sexually, the walls of her vagina respond by giving off a liquid that wets or “lubricates” the vagina. This makes it easier for a penis or finger to enter the vagina.

Your partner may be trying to insert his penis or finger before you’ve had time to become excited enough to become lubricated or “wet.” If your partner is the one initiating sex, it may take a little while for you to “catch up” in terms of your level of arousal. Sometimes, guys are in a hurry to get to intercourse. There is a lot more to the “art” of sex than that! Be sure you and your partner take your time, and don’t leave out foreplay (kissing and caressing).

If you are using a condom (and I hope you are!), you may need to add lubrication. You can buy water-based lubricants at the store. Don’t use petroleum jelly or baby oil, though, because oil-based products cause latex to disintegrate.

Another reason intercourse may be painful is that you are tense or worried. This can cause the vaginal entrance to tighten up so that putting a penis in may hurt. If you feel unsure about having sex or are worried about getting pregnant, this is a sign that it’s probably not a good idea to have sex at this point or, at the very least, that you and your partner need to talk about how to protect yourselves from both pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Most of all, don’t be in a hurry. There is plenty of time to get around to including intercourse in your sexual encounters. Having your partner “inside” of you is just one way to have sex. You want it to feel great for both of you when it finally happens! So, go slowly!

Finally, it is also important to talk to your gynecologist if you are experiencing pain during intercourse. It is possible that you may have an infection or other medical conditions. Find a clinic if you don’t already have a regular gynecologist.