It’s important for you to spend figuring out how you feel about the child’s father. How would you define your relationship with him? Are you together as a couple? Are you just friends? Are you barely speaking? What kind of relationship would you like with him in the future? After you’ve had some time to yourself, it can be helpful to talk things through with a trusted adult in your life.

Once you’re more in touch with how you feel, have a conversation with him about what you’ve come up with. Be honest with him about your relationship and your feelings. During this conversation, give him a chance to respond and to express how he’s feeling too. Decisions do not necessarily need to be made during the conversation. You both might need time to think about it more after you’ve heard what the other person has to say.

If there is a future for the two of you as a romantic couple, you may want to seek some support or counseling to strengthen the relationship. If you’ve decided to co-parent or parent together without continuing a romantic relationship, commit to making that work for the sake of your child. Both of you must put aside any negative feelings about your relationship and think first about what’s best for the child.

Once you work out the type of relationship the two of you want, you can focus on figuring out ways to be parents together. That includes dividing up responsibilities. Who will do what for the baby? How will you pay for the expenses of raising a child? Will you stay in school or get a job?

You can also take legal steps to get financial support from him if he’s not already providing it. The law requires the biological father to pay child support. If you are not married to the father, you will likely need to establish paternity (proof of who the father is). If the father of your child acknowledges that he is the father, that might be as simple as signing some legal documents. If he does not acknowledge that he is the father, you may need to ask for a paternity test. This test provides biological proof that he’s the father. Whenever possible, it’s helpful to establish a legal connection between your baby and the father. In the long run, having two parents contributing financially (and hopefully emotionally) to your baby’s upbringing is helpful.

You’re about to embark on a lifelong relationship together, regardless of the form that it takes. It’s best for your baby if you learn to get along and work together. If you can do that, you will teach your child one of the most important skills in life.