You have a legal and moral obligation to be involved in your child’s life. That doesn’t mean you have to marry the mother. It just means you have to find a way to be a father and a “parenting partner” to her.

Now, you might want to have a romantic relationship with the mother, too. That’s something  you two need to figure out.

Start by asking yourself some questions. What’s your relationship like now? Are you and she together as a couple? Just friends? Or barely speaking? What kind of relationship would you like with her? Is she someone you would like to be with? Is she someone you would like to possibly marry or live with? Or is she someone you barely know and don’t want an intimate relationship with?

You need to be honest with yourself and with her about the relationship between the two of you.

So, take some time to figure out how you feel about your baby’s mother. Think about the possibilities for your relationship. Then, talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Listen to how she feels.

Once you work out the type of relationship the two of you want, you can focus on figuring out ways to be parents together. That includes dividing up responsibilities. Who will do what for the baby? How will you pay for the expenses of raising a child? Will you stay in school or get a job?

You’re about to embark on a lifelong relationship together. It’s best for your baby if you learn to get along and work together.

Now, if you’re worried the mother of your child will be unfit -- maybe she uses drugs or is abusive – you should consider taking legal action to gain custody of your child. The charges have to be true. If so, you’ll need help from an adult, preferably your parents or other relatives. If you have no one to turn to, call you local prosecutor’s office. They can steer you toward free legal help. But, be ready for a fight. A custody battle is a complicated legal process that takes time and money.