Editors’ Note: When a teen girl becomes pregnant, she faces three choices: abortion, teen parenthood, or adoption. Each choice comes with its own set of challenges. Here is a look at three teen girls who faced a pregnancy. Each made a different choice.

 

Erin’s Choice

By Arlene Brens, 17, Staff Writer

It was the most difficult decision Erin ever made. When she first found out she was pregnant at the age of 18, she and her friend screamed with excitement at the idea of having a baby. It seemed so sweet.

Then reality hit.

How am I going to tell my mom? How will I support the baby? Will my boyfriend support me if I keep it? Erin wondered.

The questions scared her. 

“If I was going to keep the baby, I wanted my boyfriend to be there for me through every step of the pregnancy and after the baby was born, especially since I was just finishing high school. I didn’t want to do this alone,’’ she says now, three years later.

At first, Richard, then 19, wanted to keep the baby. He said he would support Erin’s choice. They talked and decided they would become parents.

The plans were set. They were going to get an apartment and begin their life together.

Then Richard changed his mind. He started seeing other girls. He told Erin, “The baby isn’t mine.’’

Next, Erin found out that Richard had been sentenced to prison. So, she decided to have an abortion. 

“I just couldn’t tell my mom,’’ says Erin. “She’s Catholic and doesn’t believe in abortion. I was afraid she wouldn’t accept me any more as her daughter and that she’d say ’I told you so.’”

Even though Richard said he would go with her to get the abortion, he kept putting it off until finally she couldn’t wait any longer. Two of her close friends went with her to the clinic. They held her hand on the way in. And they helped pay for the abortion. (Richard never gave Erin the money he had promised, either.)

Erin says the abortion hurt physically a little, like huge cramps. Emotionally, she felt knocked out. Afterward, her friends just held her as she cried for her baby.

Erin still feels she made the best choice for the situation she was in at the time. She still hasn’t told her mom. But she has learned to be careful. She has had sex with one guy since the abortion. And she always uses birth control.

“In a way, I regret my decision, because when I think of how old my baby would be now or what she would be like, I feel terrible and start to cry. I wonder if she would have had my eyes or my nose,’’ says Erin. “But when I think of how young I was and how Richard and I aren’t together anymore, I know I made the right decision for myself and for the baby, because I wasn’t ready.’’

 

Shannon’s Choice

By Samantha Nay, 17, Staff Writer

Shannon King is 15. She is a sophomore at a regular high school, in a regular town, and she planned on living a regular life. But last July, Shannon found out she was pregnant.

“I cried. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do,’’ she remembers.

At 15, Shannon was faced with probably the most important decision she would ever have to make. Would she keep her child? Would she miss out on being a teenager in order to raise her baby? Would she take on the enormous responsibility of being a mom when the only responsibility she knew was getting her homework in on time and making her curfew?

For most people, this decision would have taken a lot of thought, but for Shannon, all it took was the plus sign on the home pregnancy test and a gut feeling.

“I couldn’t picture giving the baby up for adoption,’’ says Shannon, who had her baby in February. “I feel abortion is wrong. And my family is here to help me. I have someone to turn to.’’

Her ex-boyfriend and the baby’s father, Kevin, was only 13 when Shannon found out she was pregnant. Shannon didn’t discuss her decision with Kevin. He was already dating other girls when she found out she was pregnant, she says.

She doesn’t want Kevin to be part of their daughter’s life, but she is counting on Kevin’s mother to help. His mom has promised to take care of the baby and give Shannon money.

She’s also counting on her own parents to help, even though they’re not happy about her decision.

Shannon knows she will have to grow up faster. She knows she will have to be home-schooled and will have to find someone to take care of her baby when she goes back to school. She has canceled her plans to go to college. And she has had to ask others to support her and her child. Basically, her life has totally changed.

But all this doesn’t matter to Shannon. Her baby is part of her. And she says she wants to be there to finish what she started.

 

Jen’s Choice

By Tannisha Brooks, 17, Staff Writer

Jen is a teen girl who got pregnant at the age of 14. Unlike a lot of teen girls who find themselves pregnant, Jen chose to give her baby up for adoption.

“I made this decision purely because I didn’t want to be selfish,’’ says Jen, now 17. “I knew I was too young to raise my son and give him everything he needs and wants . . . so I found someone who could.’’

Jen’s stepfather helped her find an adoption agency. At Golden Cradle Adoption Agency, in New Jersey, Jen met her counselor, Susan Backal, who helped her think through her decision. When Jen knew adoption was the right choice for her, she read about different couples and settled on one that “seemed the most like me.’’

“They looked really nice and they just seemed really friendly from everything I read,’’ she says. “I met them and boom, that was done.’’

The hardest part, she says, was carrying the baby for nine months, knowing she would have to give him up.

“It was absolutely overwhelming to actually see the person that has been inside of me for the whole nine months,’’ Jen remembers. “He was the most precious thing I ever set eyes on. I could not imagine leaving the hospital without him. But I couldn’t let the couple down.’’ 

“The day came when I was discharged,’’ she remembers. “I got dressed and Mom and I carried my son to the nursery where we were to leave him. I seriously thought I was dying. I cried for hours and hours. But I knew going back on my decision would be selfish and cruel.’’

Now, Jen regularly receives letters and pictures about her son. It helps to know he’s growing up happy. But it also makes her sad. 

“Sometimes I get teary eyed because I just wish I could hold him,’’ she says. 

Still, she feels it was the best choice for her.

“I get pictures and letters every six months. So I’m involved, even though I’m not struggling to raise him,’’ she says. “I wanted both my son and me to have lives that we deserve and not be deprived. Placing him for adoption was the only way to do that.’’

Editors' Note:
Some helpful resources for pregnant teens are www.momdadimpregnant.com and the free hotline called Backline at 1-888-493-0092.