We were sitting around my room in the humid summer heat before the start of my sophomore year, when a few of my friends decided that having me watch porn for the first time would be a good way to cure our boredom. My shrill protests fell on deaf ears as they performed a Google search for porn. Surprisingly, we didn't have to pay or provide identification when we clicked on a porn video on the first site that popped up on our search. After waiting far too long for my DSL to load it, I was, to say the least, shocked by what I saw. Not only were this woman’s breasts ten times the size of mine, but her waist seemed to be skinnier than my size zero waist. Her butt was also far too round to be natural.

As the couple in the video continued to have sex for what seemed like hours in various outrageous positions, I began to get worried. Is that what sex is really supposed to be like? Is that how we’re supposed to look? Sound? Act? I began to wonder, does porn actually represent reality?

Easy Access to Misinformation

Pornography is widely accessible to teens through the Internet and cable TV. Seventy percent of 15- to 17-year-olds say they have accidentally come across porn on the Internet, according to a study conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation. And 25 percent of boys in this same age group admit to lying about their age to access a pornographic Web site, according to the Pew Internet and American Life Project. This isn’t hard to do—as we saw, all you have to do is click “yes,” when the site asks whether you’re over a certain age.

Teens are curious about sex, and that’s normal. It also makes sense that some would want to check out porn, especially when there isn’t much information available to teens about sex and relationships, particularly in school. But what messages are they getting from porn? That women must look a certain way for them to be considered attractive? That men must have certain-sized penises? Or that people must be able to perform certain acts in bed that may actually be humanly impossible? These stereotypes promoted by the sex industry may leave women feeling unattractive when they don’t look like airbrushed Barbie dolls. They may leave men thinking that they’re inadequate when their penis isn’t 12 inches long. And relationships may suffer when couples realize that they cannot continue to have sex for as long as they do in these videos. And people who’ve never had sex get a totally unrealistic idea of what sex is supposed to be like and how to relate to a partner.

Pulling Back the Curtain

The truth is that the images seen in porn videos are not necessarily based in reality. With the magic of splicing, the miracles of plastic surgery and digital enhancement and the wonders of (what looked to me like really bad) acting, pornography creates a false world that has little to do with real people.

Those double-D breasts you see? Most likely silicone implants. Those size-zero waists and rock hard abs? They’re probably the byproducts of starvation, surgery or steroids. The way those couples have marathon sex for hours on end? That would be Windows Movie Maker hard at work.

So Much for Real Sex

The porn industry thrives by creating an exaggerated reality that appeals to a wide audience. As teenagers watch porn, do they begin to mistake fantasy for reality? While watching porn will not make your penis fall off, should it be shaping your sexual expectations? If you look at porn and think that’s what sex is supposed to be like, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’ll end up disappointed—or even devastated.

The average woman doesn’t look like a porn star and doesn't use her body to make a living. According to the Kinsey Institute (a research institute for sex, gender and reproduction) the average male penis size is between 5 and 6 inches when erect. The median time for sexual intercourse is 7.3 minutes, according to Dr. Irwin Goldstein, editor of the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The porn industry encourages gender stereotypes. According to a 2003 study by Texas Christian University, men who watch pornography tend to see women as objects for their pleasure and assume that women should be subservient. The truth is that, for heterosexual couples, the typical dominating male and submissive female roles may not always please them. Also, unlike women in porn movies, it is very unlikely that every female will want to have sex with every male or female she comes across. And males will not always be ready to go with an erection.

When it comes to same-sex pornography, the misrepresentations are just as great, if not greater. Generally, girl-on-girl sex is portrayed as an act to be viewed and enjoyed by men. In reality, most women who enter into sexual relationships with other women do so for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with pleasing men. And guy-on-guy action usually shows two men who are physically perfect in every way—the meeting of two Greek gods. Unlike what is seen in porn videos, the reality is that men—gay, heterosexual or bi—are individuals who come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.

A Healthy Dose of Reality

If your expectations about sex are based in reality, not fantasy, you’re more likely to have satisfying future sexual experiences. For example, pornography rarely, if ever, represents safer sex techniques such as using a condom, because in the fantasy world of porn, there are no sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Who needs a condom? You do, if you’re going to have sex in the real world. Armed with the real facts about pregnancy, STDs and protecting yourself, you’re in a better position to be responsible with your sexual health when the time comes.

You may find that what’s right and comfortable for you now is to wait to have sex. Abstinence is the only 100-percent effective way to avoid an STD or prevent an unplanned pregnancy. And if you are having sex, then protection—using condoms and other latex barriers—is the best way to protect both you and your partner. Now that’s information that will serve you well—in reality.