My sexual education began at the age of seven. Really. My mother’s lesson was intended for my teenage brother - not me. But my nosiness wouldn’t allow me to mind my own business. And with that, I became a seven year old who was well informed about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), proper condom usage, and what to do in the event that something goes wrong during sexual activity.  My mother’s complete and total candor with my brother about her sexual encounters has shaped the decisions that I make today.

From that point until the present, my mom has continued to be blatantly upfront about sex, including all of her sexual experiences. She warned me of the perils of promiscuity, obliging men with too much trust, and just about any other mistake that she made. She didn’t pretend that she had saved herself for marriage or even a committed relationship. She was direct about what led to her specific decisions. 

I must admit that the birds-and-bees conversation I got wasn’t typical. In fact, there are times when I think that my mother gave me a bit too much information. (There are certain things that no one wants to know about their mommy.) But her frankness did keep history from repeating itself. 

Her conversations about being date raped and diagnosed with an STD kept me from getting myself into the same situations. Some of these things were not her fault - like the rape - but other circumstances could have been easily avoided with the use of good common sense. For instance, knowing to use a condom or abstaining from having sex with your adulterous husband would have been wise choices. HIV/AIDS was not prevalent back when my mother wasn’t so discreet about sex.  Today there are greater, more significant risks involved with playing sexual roulette. 

So, out of fear of the emotional and physical repercussions of sex, I became acutely aware of my body’s sexuality, and I knew better than to use it. Mom's extensive discussions with me may have turned me into somewhat of a prude. (You would think I grew up in the Victorian period.) Until age 15, I was aloof towards the opposite sex. I was in complete denial about and disgusted with anything involving sex. I felt uncomfortable with any sexual situation.

I have to admit that the sex education I received from my mom was extremely helpful. Her words kept me from doing something that might put me in jeopardy. Her words kept me from feeling the pressures imposed by my peers or my boyfriend. Our conversations made me learn not to act on impulses, but to carefully consider anything that I chose to undertake – and I mean I choose. A decision that involves my body or spirit is a decision that I make on my own.

Rasheeda, 18, is a Sex, Etc. contributor from New York City.