Amanda had sex for the first time when she was 14. She wanted to show her guy how much she loved him.

Now, she wishes she had waited until she was older.


“I was far too young to make this choice,” says the Nevada teen. “I didn't realize the value of my virginity. It’s something that should be shared with someone you love and trust, and that person should feel the same about you. I was interested in what sex was like, but I wasn't aware of how special it is.”

Although the actual physical experience was good, she felt bad emotionally afterward.

“The guy I was with went very slow and made sure that I was OK,’’ says Amanda. “We were good friends, but I still felt weird afterwards because I wished that I would have gotten to know him better instead of appearing so easy, so it would mean more.’’

Brittany Keates was also 14 when she had sex for the first time. The New Jersey teen looks back with regret.

“I never thought about the risks or consequences,” says Brittany. “Having sex just sort of happened.’’

Most teens wait until they’re older to have sex. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, in 1999, about 65 percent of 12th graders said that they’d had sex, compared to about 39 percent of 9th graders.

Still, that’s a lot of young teens having sex.

Even more scary is the fact that some kids are having sex before they even get to high school. About 8 percent of students, mostly boys, told the CDC that they had first sex before the age of 13. And that doesn’t count the kids who are doing stuff other than sexual intercourse (oral sex, petting, etc.)

That’s a problem, experts say.

Most young teens, and especially pre-teens, just aren’t mature enough to make such serious sexual decisions, says Dr. Drew Pinsky, a well-known sex educator and radio talk show host in California.

He says it’s pretty well accepted internationally that many teens will have sexual intercourse for the first time sometime between 17 and 19 years old. And some wait until they’re older, Pinsky says.

But by the time you reach your late teen years, you have a better chance of being able to really think through decisions, take precautions and understand the possible consequences of sex (pregnancy, disease, a broken heart). The longer you wait, the better the chances that you’ll be happy with your decision, adds Pinsky.

But, as a teen growing up in a society that seems obsessed with both the joys and dangers of sex, it’s sometimes hard to keep your head on straight, especially when it seems like everyone around you is “doing it.”

But that’s a myth.

On average, girls lose their virginity at about 16-1/2, while the average boy waits until he’s 16. And plenty of teens wait even longer than that.

“Waiting until I was 19 was the right decision for me,’’ says Chris Buck, 20. “I was old enough to handle it emotionally and it helped create a tighter bond between me and my girlfriend.

Sometimes, having sex too young ruins a relationship.

“After we did it, it all fell apart,’’ says Joanna Green, who had sex with her boyfriend when she was 15. “I wasn’t ready to deal with all the responsibilities and the emotional stress. I bet if we had decided to wait, we would still be together.”

The decision to have sex is huge. One only you can make. But just don’t fall for the “everybody’s doing it” line. Cause they’re not.

And remember, good things come with time.