You're almost packed. You've got your class schedule. You've exchanged letters with your future roommate.

You're on your way to college—and a newfound freedom.



For many of us college-bound seniors, that first year away at school will be the first time in our lives when no one will be checking up on us. No calls home if you skip class. Nobody smelling your breath for alcohol before you tumble into bed. No curfews. No parents.

You can almost taste the freedom, right? But are you ready for it?

Some college freshmen find it's hard to handle—at least at first.

Too much drinking and partying are probably the biggest pitfalls that many fall into—and that often leads to bad decisions about sex, not to mention hurting your GPA.

Kristen, who was a freshman at Oregon State University last fall, remembers many nights when she helped friends stumble back to their rooms and then held their hair back while they puked.

"For most of us, drinking was just there,'' says Kristen. "It was a thing to do. No one tells you to do it or makes fun of you if you don't. But it's an option, so we figure: 'Why not?'"

But campus drinking isn't nearly as rampant as many believe, says Linda Langford, director of evaluation and assessment for the Higher Education Center for Alcohol and Other Drug Prevention, a Massachusetts-based program funded by the U.S. Department of Education.

"It's really the minority of students who are doing the majority of binge drinking,'' says Langford.

"The big wild parties are much more visible than the students who are just hanging around with friends, talking,'' she adds.

"It's the same thing about having sex. The students who have sex are the ones who talk about it. The students who go out on dates, have coffee, have a nice time and that's it, don't.''

That's true, says Katie, a freshman at Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania.

"Yeah, people drink, but for me, getting involved in school activities seemed like a lot more fun," she says.

"No ones cares if you drink or party or have sex all the time," adds Jeff, who just finished his freshman year at Pomona College in California. "They don't exclude you either way and, if you choose not to, there are always people to hang out with."

Langford suggests finding friends who do things that don't revolve around drinking. You might find them through extracurricular activities, music, sports or just hanging at the local Starbucks.

"If you surround yourself with people who party, then your perception will be that everybody parties,'' says Langford. "So, seek out other students who are doing other things. It really is out there. It's just quieter.''

But face it. Even if you find friends who don't want to party all the time, chances are that, sooner or later, you'll be at a bash where the taps are flowing.

So, Langford offers a few tips for staying in control.

If you plan to drink, make sure you eat—before and during. Drink responsibly. That means having one or two drinks and then switching to soda or water, at least for awhile.

Staying in control is key. Bad stuff can happen when you don't.

Ruth Ann Koenick, director of the Department of Sexual Assault Services and Crime Victim Assistance at Rutgers University, New Jersey, says many rapes involve drunk people—both victims and perpetrators. Alcohol doesn't cause rape. But getting drunk lowers inhibitions and allows people to do things they might not do sober.

For victims (usually girls), that means missing obvious red flags that could signal a possible problem. For perpetrators (usually guys), that means losing control or misinterpreting when a person says "no."

"The hardest thing is to admit that rape can happen,'' says Koenick. "You don't want to think your good friend you met two weeks ago could do something like that to you.''

But it's important to admit that it can happen. That will make you more careful and less likely to put yourself in risky situations, like getting drunk and leaving with someone you hardly know.

"I can remember watching people at parties going off with complete strangers," says Janelle, another freshman at Oregon State University. "I knew lots of girls who would wake up in the morning and not know where they were or who was sleeping next to them."

Not a good idea. Koenick suggests being "really clear'' about your sexual—limits both with yourself and any love interests. And use the buddy system. Stick together. If you want to wander off, let the others know where you're going.

Also be on the lookout for date-rape drugs, such as Rohypnol (roofies) or GHB (liquid ecstasy). Always hold your drink. Only take drinks from the person making them. Never drink something that has been out of your sight, even for a minute.

"The most important part is trusting your instincts. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't," adds Koenick. "College is all about gaining independence and discovering who you are as a person.''

It's also about learning to make decisions based on what your gut tells you, not what your new friends are doing.

Kristen and Janelle advise incoming freshmen to know where they stand on all moral issues (sex, drinking, drugs) and set their own standards—before they get to college.