I've known that I am a lesbian for the past three years. It wasn't really a big deal for me at first, because I hadn't really been into dating. When I was 13, I just felt more of an emotional connection with my female friends. After a while, though, I realized that girls appealed to me in a lot of ways.  I didn't understand these feelings and they confused me a lot, but then I realized I was a lesbian and decided to talk to someone about it.

Kelly, 16

The first person I came out to was my 7th grade teacher, Mrs. M. It was a huge step for me to come out to her. I was very close to and had a great deal of respect for her, so I felt comfortable around her. Yet when I came out to her, I was terrified of what she would think of me and if she would still even like me.

 
Now that I've told her, though, she actually likes me more because I was honest with her. Opening myself up really opened a lot of doors in my life and changed the way I act in everyday situations. Now, I can actually be myself with some people.

 
Being true to yourself is the most important thing. If you can't be pleased with yourself, then how can others be? Luckily, for the most part, everyone I have come out to has accepted me...except for my mom. 

Telling Mom

My family life was very normal before I came out to my mom. Before I came out to her, she really was nice and open about guys and dating. She would ask me if I had a boyfriend and if I thought any guys were cute, but I never knew how to respond. I would just shake my head and smile, and try to change the subject as fast as I could.

 
I was afraid to come out to her because I knew she disapproved of homosexuality. The only reason I decided to do it was because Mrs. M. made me realize that it would be even worse if someone told my mom before I did. I would never want someone taking my right to come out to my mother away from me.

 
It's easier said then done, though. I decided to tell her in a restaurant bathroom, where I knew she couldn't start yelling at me. I was incredibly scared. She actually brought it up. She said, "You think you're gay, don't you?" and I said, "yes," and then walked away.

I could tell she was very upset.

 
You see, my mom is Catholic and I was raised Catholic. She thinks that if I don't change my ways I will go to hell, but I don't think so. I think that if you love, respect, and help people, there will always be a place for you in Heaven.

That is exactly what I am doing. Loving another woman is still love. I didn't choose to feel the way that I feel, but my feelings are who I am and I will express myself.

 
Coming out really changed my relationship with my mom. I still love her and I know she loves me, but now we don't have the same trust anymore.

Still Me

Coming out to a few close friends has been much easier. My best friend, Katy, has been very accepting, and being able to be me with a friend my own age for the first time in my life makes me so much happier. I told Katy that I am a lesbian because I needed to have someone my own age accept me. I told her about six months into our friendship, though I think she always kind of knew, because I don't really hide being a lesbian.
After I told her, our relationship hardly changed—she was completely the same and I was still me, too.

That's hard for some people to grasp. It's not as if I change the moment I tell you I am a lesbian; I know long before I come out to you. When I tell people, I want them to know how and why I am that way, and I want them to know the whole story—not that I am just attracted to women instead of men. 

 
All kinds of people will accept you; you just have to find them and hold on to them. But never try to change yourself to get the approval of others. Be yourself, be who you want to be, and be you.

 
I don't regret anything I have said or done. As far as I'm concerned, I am stronger for coming out. It is a lot easier not hiding who I really am and not lying to people I love. Ultimately, I love being me.

Kelly lives in Illinois.

Editors' Note: If you have more questions about coming out, check out these 24 Coming Out Tips from Clyde Berry!