“The first time I had sex is something I regret very much. Now that I think about it, I was very young and naive and irresponsible. I believe that I was under the...”
—Lee, 17, Oregon
10 Ways to Know You're Over Your Ex
Originally Published: Jun 3, 2005
Revised: Jun 27, 2007
I had been dating a guy I really liked for a little over four months. When it suddenly ended, I was devastated. So I came up with this list, with help from friends and teens across the country, that helps you know if you're finally over your ex. Although many of the things on the list are hard to do, they will help. And so will time . . . it heals all wounds.
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Photo by Hannah Rosenblum |
10. You no longer listen to depressing music while eating tubs of ice cream. The first couple of days after a breakup are the worst. You feel sorry for yourself and listen to depressing "emo" music while crying over junk food.
9. You no longer talk to your ex's friends to find out what she's doing. Nobody knows your ex better than her friends. You've probably become closer to them through your ex, but resist the urge to ask them about her.
8. You no longer dig up old voicemails and e-mails and reminisce. Although it's tempting to save all those mushy "I love you" voicemails/e-mails that remind you of the good ‘ole days, they really need to go. The more things you save that remind you of your ex, the harder it will be to get over him or her.
7. You no longer find yourself talking about your ex with your friends. She used to be all that you would talk about with your friends, but lately you've started talking about other stuff.
6. You no longer go out of your way to see your ex in the halls or in a favorite hangout spot. Admit it. In those first couple of weeks, you'd just "happen" to wind up at her hangout spots or find yourself driving past his house. Again, resist the urge.
5. You no longer check her away messages every 10 minutes. It's enticing to check the away message to see if your ex wrote anything about you or song lyrics that describe a (hopefully depressed) mood, but in order to get over the breakup, stop checking!
4. You no longer talk loudly about other guys/girls around your ex, hoping they hear and become jealous. It's tempting to show your ex that you are over the relationship, even if you're not. Bad idea. This can create hard feelings or, worse, reveal that you're putting on an act. When you stop caring what your ex thinks about your life, you can move on.
3. You go out on a date with someone else, have a good time, and manage not to think about your ex for a good three hours! It's hard to think about going out with someone else when you're so hung up on your ex. But many times, seeing someone new takes your mind off your ex—and sparks a new friendship or relationship.
2. You hear he is seeing someone else, and you're not upset. The most dreaded fallout of breaking up is that your ex will find someone new. But if you can relate to many of the situations on this list, hearing that your ex is dating someone else may not be as unbearable as you had originally thought.
1. You finally take your ex off your buddy list … for good. This may be one of the hardest things to do. Erasing your ex's screen name means you cannot see his or her away messages or profile. Remember, out of sight, out of mind!
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Your Comments
stuck between a hard place and a rock.
Posted by: taylor18 on Sep 21st, 2009 11:03pm
me&my bf are seniors in hs&been datin 4 1&1/2yrs.i told him
i wanted a break bc since school started all his time is
devoted 2 football which i understand bc thats what he want
2go2 college 4 but i never get2see him in school&only once
on the weekend 4 a few hrs bc he chooses 2 spend his time w.
friends.we both still want 2 be together&love each other but
its not fair 4 me 2 not have a bf whose hardly there&its not
fair to him to choose bewteen the 2.should we try to move on
or work through it?
It's true
Posted by: Kayla bridget on Jun 9th, 2009 11:47am
Well to me, I done these things self conciously. My ex
cheated on me with servral girls and having sex with them. I
have given him my v-card and went out for 15 months and this
is hat I get in return hah! Anyways the best thing is to
forget and live what's in store now. You can't keep living
and looking back and what would have happened. You can never
trust men. Ever so all you need to do is forget. Yesterday
is history tomarrow is a mystery and today is a gift that's
why they call it present.
RE: Hmm..
Posted by: DanR on Mar 9th, 2009 2:48pm
It sounds like there is a lot of unfinished business in your
past relationship, and maybe that is why you are thinking
about your ex so much. Being raped is not something that is
easily dealt with, and I am so sorry that this happened to
you. I would suggest talking to an adult about this and
seeing what they say. Until then, I would suggest just
staying away from him and keeping yourself safe. Also, here
is the web site for the Rape, Abuse and Incest national
network. http://www.rainn.org
Hmm..
Posted by: calculated.spontaneity on Mar 8th, 2009 1:21am
My ex accused me of cheating on him with one of his friends,
which, I never met. It pissed me off so much because he was
being a complete jerk and he ended up reading my fb messages
and going on my MSN and stuff, which made me upset.. He also
raped me and I don't know what to do about it.. The guy I'm
with now is totally amazing but I don't think I'm over the
other one. I love my current bf so much it's insane, but I
think about my ex and what he did to me a lot, am I really
over him?
Still not over him
Posted by: Tiffernoodle on Mar 3rd, 2009 10:46pm
I was dating this guy for quite a while and we broke up. I
had no contact with him for a year and I still obsessed over
every detail that involved him. We started talking and ended
up back together. Our break up was mutual, but neither one
of us really wanted it. It's hard to get over someone,
especially somone you were close to. Sometimes things work
out though!
tru tru tru !!
Posted by: jucielover on Sep 22nd, 2008 8:18pm
it all tru just work hard and gooo out and have aloot of
fun!!
My Ex Boyfriend
Posted by: hisqueen on Sep 3rd, 2008 12:34am
Hahaha i really wish i could do all ten things, but i know
im still not fixed for the damage and i love loving him even
if it makes me cy. but these are all my new goals :D
Well Im Not Over My Ex
Posted by: jennyboo122292 on Apr 16th, 2008 11:18am
not quite yet. i still think about him, call him and talk to
him.
most of those ten things i still do.
Not Always True
Posted by: skye616 on Feb 14th, 2008 10:10pm
it really depends on the relationship.. i was in love (and
know I still am) with my ex and he and i are kinda like best
friends. i still talk to him whenever he can (he's a
'squid') and he calls just to talk whenever possible
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re: stuck
Posted by: CJT on Sep 22nd, 2009 10:11am
That's a tough call to make! Sometimes timing makes
relationships hard and it sounds like you each have
different priorities in your life right now. You can try
talking with him about what you need, and he can let you
know what he needs. If those things are similar, you can try
to make it work. If it seems like he won't be able to give
you what you need and you can't give him what he needs,
maybe it's best to take that break and check in when things
are less busy for both of you.