What to Do When Nightmares Become Reality

By Ben Cogswell, 17, Staff Writer

Originally Published: Mar 6, 2006

Revised: Feb 8, 2007

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, a fictional legal show about sexual assaults, is a popular television show among young adults. But what happens when the drama of this television show steps into the reality of a teen's life? According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), approximately 44 percent of rape victims are under age 18. And 90 percent of these rapes are committed by people the victim knows. These statistics only reflect those sexual assaults that are reported. Unfortunately, many sexual assaults among America 's teens today go unreported.


Carla Berrocal

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What Should I Do?

Rape happens when someone uses force or the threat of force to engage in sexual intercourse with another person. Erin Michael, Educator and Coordinator of Teen Educators Against Rape and Sexual Violence (T.E.A.R.S.) at Call Rape, Inc. in Tulsa, OK, recommends going through the following procedure if you have been the victim of a rape or sexual assault. Please note that these are only recommendations. Ultimately, how you choose to handle the situation is your decision.
  1. Immediately notify someone you are close to, i.e., a relative, teacher or a very close friend.

  2. Preserve evidence of the attack—don't bathe or brush your teeth. Write down all the details you can recall about the attack and the attacker.
  3. Contact a rape crisis center near you for advice. Search your phone book under "sexual assault" or "rape" to find a crisis center near you. You can also call the National Sexual Assault Hotline run by RAINN 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 1-800-656-HOPE. Calls are free and totally confidential.

  4. Decide whether you are going to report the rape to the police. If you decide to report it, call 911.

  5. Get medical treatment. Even if you don't have physical injuries, it is important to determine the risks of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and pregnancy. Some rape crisis centers offer exams, or they will provide an "advocate" to go with you to the hospital and support you. An advocate can help you find a hospital that performs a rape kit exam, since not every hospital performs them. If you want to preserve forensic evidence of the attack, you need to have an exam in the first 72 hours.

  6. "Get counseling!" urges Michael. "Even if you do not report [the rape] to the police you will [still] need to talk about it," Michael says. You can find a counselor either in your phone book under "psychologist," or through the guidance counselor at your school. Ongoing therapy is important, and will help reinforce the idea that it was NOT your fault.

If I Do Report It, What Will Happen?

"If you report a rape to the police, they will send an officer to your house or to the hospital to gather information and write a report. Once all the evidence has been collected, it is turned over to a detective in the Sex Crimes Unit. Then the detective will interview the victim, alleged perpetrator and any witnesses. If there is enough evidence, the case will be forwarded to the District Attorney's office," says Michael.

 

"The most important thing is honesty," stresses Michael. Not only is falsely reporting a rape a felony, but not including everything in an actual rape can mess up the trial (if there is one). She emphasizes the importance of telling the whole truth, even if that means admitting that you snuck out, were drinking, using drugs or doing something you weren't supposed to. If the case goes to trial, a defense attorney can use the fact that you weren't completely honest to his or her advantage.

What Actually Happens During a Rape Exam?

The Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE), who has been trained to treat rape victims with the utmost care and sensitivity, will interview you regarding what happened so he or she will know where to look for evidence. You will give the SANE the clothing you were wearing during the attack. If there is any physical bruising, damage or cuts, photos will be taken for evidence.

The SANE will swab your cheek to get your DNA sample. Then the genital area will be swabbed as well to collect samples. "For a female this is much like a Pap smear, and is over quickly," says Michael. If you believe rape drugs were used, the SANE will take a blood sample. Also, a urine sample will be taken for pregnancy, and you'll be asked if you want antibiotics to "ward off" certain STDs.

You should ask for emergency contraception (EC), which comes in the form of pills that prevent pregnancy after unprotected intercourse. Some states like New York and California require attendants in the emergency room to give you information about EC and to even give EC to you, if you ask for it. Other states like North Carolina and Kansas are not required. If you want EC and the hospital will not give it to you, the National Sexual Assault Hotline can connect you to EC providers near you.

Finally, the SANE will offer you a shower and a pair of fresh clothes, and you're on your way. Usually this process takes between two-and-a-half to three hours, and every part of the exam is completely optional. Michael reassures us that you can say no to anything!


Your Comments

RE: Though it's Hard, it's Better to Talk

Posted by: DanR on May 2nd, 2008 9:29am

I'm so glad to hear that you are starting to talk about what
happened to you. I hope that you have a trusted adult in
your life that you have been able to speak with as well. If
you need any additional resources, you can also check out
http://www.rainn.org/. Keep doing what you're doing. You
are an inspiration to others.

Though it's Hard, it's Better to Talk

Posted by: vblover221 on May 1st, 2008 11:09pm

As hard as it might be to talk about it. I was raped when
10. I didn't tell any of my friends. Now, I'm trying to
break free from this secret. I wish i would have told my
friends in grade school.

RE: ?

Posted by: DanR on Jan 29th, 2008 9:03am

Please know that what happened is not your fault. Anytime a
person says "no" to sex and another person does not respect
that and keeps going, it is rape. Rape is wrong, and it's
against the law. You definitely need to talk to an adult you
trust (maybe a teacher or counselor if you feel weird
talking to your mom). It is also important that you are
never alone with this guy (for your own safety). Please
check out http://www.rainn.org/ for some additional
resources. Hang in there!

?

Posted by: luvinhimhurts18 on Jan 25th, 2008 8:20pm

i was not raped completelly..but a guy that was supposed 2 b
my friend tried 2 rape me when we outside..nd when i tried 2
scream 4 help he covered my mouth nd told me 2shut
up..luckly God was watching over me nd i was able 2 get away
nd run home..which was right across the street nd the worse
part is i couldnt tell ne 1 cuz our parents r friends. i
cried myself 2 sleep almost every night for 3 weeks after
that..i still have yet 2 tell my mom..nd to honest my mom
will just call me a freakin lier.

I couldn't tell.

Posted by: TheBeautyOfATwistedMind on Dec 25th, 2007 7:08pm

I wasn't raped, but I am a victim of sexual abuse. Yes, the
abuse was horrible, but, trying to tell someone was just as
difficult. Even though it is hard to do, I know personaly,
you will end up better off in the end. It took me years to
tell, but I did. It is hard because I still love this
person, but I know what happened was wrong. Tell someone you
can trust to start off with and then maybe they can help you
tell the authorities. I know the pain, but such a secret
hurts worse.

It's harder to not tell

Posted by: Totalli__Happi on Aug 20th, 2007 5:16am

I wasn't totally raped, but a friend of mine attempted...he
got pretty far, but thank God I luckily faught him off. I
didn't want to tell anyone at first, but my best friend
finally convinced me to go to police. It turns out he had
had many sexual charges against him that had been thrown out
due to lack of evidence or the victim pulled out. He just
got arrested last night, and we're going to trial soon. It
was so hard, but it's harder not telling...

It's Too Hard

Posted by: Hil on Feb 22nd, 2007 11:52pm

As a rape victim, I can firmly state that such an experience
is terrible. However, telling someone about it can be just
as terrible. I tried to tell someone once, but the pain was
just too real. I know the better thing would be to report
it, but I didn't know my attacker, and most people I know
would accuse me of lying. I hope that you can convince
others to report rape, but you cant convince me.

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