“The first time I had sex is something I regret very much. Now that I think about it, I was very young and naive and irresponsible. I believe that I was under the...”
—Lee, 17, Oregon
Sex Education by Teens, for Teens!
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“The first time I had sex is something I regret very much. Now that I think about it, I was very young and naive and irresponsible. I believe that I was under the...”
—Lee, 17, Oregon
Originally Published: May 4, 2002
Revised: May 4, 2007
My eyebrow cocked instantly at the first mention of Vinnie D'Angelo, creator of Vinnie's Tampon Cases—funky pouches for girls to hold their tampons—and author of Vinnie's Giant Roller Coaster Period Chart & Journal Sticker Book. I thought, "What?! A guy wrote a menstruation book for girls?"
![]() Vinnie D'Angelo |
![]() Cover: Vinnie's Giant Roller Coaster Period Chart & Journal Sticker Book |
Sex, Etc.: What made you want to become Vinnie the Tampon Case Distributor?
Vinnie D'Angelo: The inspiration came from two moments, both stemming from a need to help my girlfriends. I remember the exact incident when I realized that men and women are divided by our lack of understanding of each other and willingness to learn.
I had walked in on my female friends amidst a complaint session, and before I was able to move another step, my gal pals silenced their conversation and began giggling. The topic at hand was obvious —menstruation. I felt excluded from a part of their lives because of their expectations of the stereotypical negative male response, not wanting to talk of tampon taboos.
Initially, like most young men, I was ignorant of anything having to do with menstruation. I grew up with all brothers, no sisters. However, it was that moment, so many years ago, when I finally said "Enough!" and shed that last ounce of masculine embarrassment.
My girlfriends and I had a long talk about the basics of menstruation—what happens biologically, the feelings associated with having a period…a lot of things I never knew.
Another day, a female friend and I were walking around New York City, when she divulged to me that she doesn't always feel safe in her own streets, even during daytime. She told me about the constant catcalls and lewd remarks she received from male passers when she walked alone.
I seriously began to worry about her safety and the security of all women, thinking that if some men couldn't even control themselves during the day, nighttime was an entirely more frightening issue. It drew me closer to an understanding of solidarity between myself and the opposite sex—out of respect for their day-to-day hardships.
SE: What do you think causes male reluctance to learn about menstruation?
VD: Basically—due to the sexist attitudes that sadly still prevail in our society—guys have been excused from knowing even the most basic information about menstruation, one of the most pronounced aspects of a female's life. The media reinforce the stereotypical male response to menstruation—running in the other direction. And guys rarely have an opportunity to develop a more mature reaction.
Guys are also encouraged by the tampon industry—and, by extension, their girlfriends and sisters—to pretend that they don't notice when a girl has her period. Tampon companies have created and perpetuated the concept that women should be embarrassed by their period and hide it, so "no one will ever know." Because of this very successful advertising campaign, females try their best to pretend that the monthly cycle isn't wreaking havoc on their body and moods. And males do their best to play their part and pretend they don't "notice."
SE: What would help banish the stigma about menstruation, especially in the eyes of males?
VD: Education has the uncanny knack to dispel myths and reverse bad habits. Boys need to get the scoop, and their gal pals need to pass along the correct information. Obviously, getting boys the essential information may not be an easy task, but it's far from impossible, and it's slowly happening. Girls need support during their periods, not boys pretending menstruation doesn't exist.
SE: Do you feel you've accomplished what you set out to do?
VD: As for social and psychological changes in the way men and women view menstruation, I'm only tipping the iceberg. I'd like my work to open up the lines of communication and lessen the gender gap, by taking away the negative connotation of periods. No one, including myself, has period envy, but there is no need to comply with societal pressures dictating that it is shameful and embarrassing, and people should remain silent.
SE: Any final messages to teen guys and girls about menstrual cycles?
VD: Know the Flow!
Sexism
Posted by: musicchickie on Aug 31st, 2008 1:20pm
One time my dad walked in on my mom and me talking about my
period. He acted like we were just being stupid ditzy girls
who were talking about our problems. Its was, and sometimes
still is, incredibly important to talk to my mom about
periods. So why can men use it as a way to make fun of us?
Like we're inferior because we talk openly about things that
simply have to be said. What really bothers me is when my
brother starts acting like my dad with that kind of thing.
haha
Posted by: jessi34 on Aug 31st, 2008 5:55am
most of my female friends and i are very open when i comes
to or periods! even if theres a guy there! he can always
just walk away if hes uncomfortable. but were not ashamed or
feel embarrassed. which i think is great! i can also openly
talk about it with my boyfriend! which i find very
comforting! [ive asked him it it bothers him of course!]
ladies dont ever be ashamed of your periods! theres nothing
wrong with having chats about them! =]
A Pain
Posted by: Shuree on Jul 8th, 2008 4:16pm
I can't stand having my period sometimes. The cramps and the
bloating are a pain,but after that goes away sometimes I
forget I even have it.
Ick!
Posted by: 13purpleprincess31 on Jan 13th, 2008 1:19pm
I totally hate getting my period because I think that
everyone can tell. I can only wear the really little
tampons and I bleed through them in less than 30 minutes so
it sucks.
way ahead
Posted by: xaila13 on Aug 27th, 2007 4:53pm
me and my friends (guys and girls) are very open with each
other and regularly have talks about this sort of thing it's
a great feeling to be aware of whats going on in your
friends lives and i encourage every one out there to do the
same. <3
Ehhh
Posted by: superfablouslyboodalicios on Feb 15th, 2009 9:49pm
My friends and I make jokes about our period and are
sympathetic towards each other when we inform each other
that we have started ours again. We support one another by
bringing a pad to school everyday so if one of us is caught
off guard they never have to call home just to get a pad.I
encourage everyone to tell whoever they want to about this,
it's a world-wide-know secret. It doesn't HAVE to be
embarrassing.