"Kienan, go up. You're just going to regret it later if you don't," whispers my best friend, Claire.

I take a deep breath, inhaling slowly. I feel my legs tremble beneath me as I stand up. I walk down the red-carpeted auditorium floor toward the stage where two seniors stand. One I know from a club, so I decide to go to her. As she speaks, the other senior gives me the microphone. I take one last deep breath and begin to talk to my entire freshman class.

"Hi, I'm sure most of you know who I am, but do you really? I am your vice president, but I'm also more than just that. I am a singer, actor, and I am also..."

Should I say it? Is my class really ready for this? I won't know until I say it.

Deep breath now.

"...I am also gay."

I stand still to let the words sink in. Oh, no, what have I done? No one is saying anything. I knew I shouldn't have told them...what have I done? Then I hear clapping. My class is clapping?

"Yeah, Kienan, way to go!" they shout.

 I breathe a sigh of relief and walk back to my seat.

As this class meeting on diversity comes to a close, my class begins to leave. As I stand up, a stream of people come hurtling toward me. In the midst of hugs, congratulations, and handshakes, I make out a smile on my ex-girlfriend's face. Guys I thought hated me now come up and shake my hand, telling me, "Wow, Kienan...that was brave!"

I guess being gay isn't a bad thing after all.

As the crowd dissipates, I am left alone in the auditorium with Claire.

"Kienan, I am so proud of you! I told you everything would be alright," she says, with a smirk on her face. I give her a huge hug and we walk out of the auditorium to go home.

Best Thing

I can tell you right now that being gay is one of the best things that has happened to me. Most people say that if people know you are gay, they will make fun of you and that your friends will leave you. True, some people are homophobes, and, yes, I hate to say it, but some of your friends will leave you upon finding out—but don't let these little problems get in the way of being who you are.

In my experience, for the most part, people have felt it's awesome that I'm gay. My "coming out" experience was nothing but positive. People would constantly come up to me and tell me it was cool that I was gay.

If anything, coming out has made me even more popular. Kids like people that are different, because it is the different people that make life interesting.

It is more detrimental to hide the fact that you're gay. Before I came out, I always felt like I was lying to people. I wasn't sure whether people at school would accept me. After I came out, I felt this huge weight being lifted off my back. Coming out was a stress reliever.

Last Challenge

But I still face one problem, which is how to tell my parents, especially my dad. My dad is incredibly homophobic. If a person is gay, he will make fun of that person, say rude slurs, and draw attention to that person to make him or her feel uncomfortable.

He also won't do anything a gay person does. If he sees a gay person running, then he won't run. If he sees a gay person at a certain store, he won't go to that store. It really hurts me to watch him do all these things, because I know that if he knew I was gay, he would do the same things to me.

My worst fear about my dad, though, is what he would do to me if he found out. I know for a fact that he would probably kick me out of the house if he knew I was gay. He might also beat me up. My dad is very violent when it comes to gay people. When he was in school, he beat the hell out of this one kid for being gay. If he knew I was gay...well, I don't like to think about that.

Sometimes I am afraid to come home from school because of the worry. I think, What if today was the day someone in my class told him I was gay? What if, when I walk through that door, he is waiting to do the same thing to me as he did to that other kid?

Fear is something I face every day at my house. I deal with it by relaxing, praying, and talking to Claire and her parents, who support me.

Despite the fear, being gay has been a blessing for me. I am a better and more open person because of it. Who knows what I would have been like had I not been gay. Would I be a person who torments gay people? Would I have followed in my dad's footsteps? I can't say. I only know that being gay is a blessing, and I hope someday my dad will see that.

Editors' Note: Kienan Christianson, 15, of Salem, CT, is the third-place winner in the first annual Sex, Etc. National Writing Contest. The first-place winner is Ashley Jones, 18, of Hickory, NC, and second place is Bianca Lencek-Bosker, 17, of Portland, OR.