As a heterosexual, did you ever feel it necessary to "come out of the closet" with your sexuality? That thought probably never occurred to you. But gay, lesbian, bisexual, and questioning teens across the country struggle with their sexual identity and coming out every day. They worry about how their family members and friends will react. And what affect their sexuality will have on their lives.

Luckily, they often find help and courage from support groups and role models.

Andrea Cortes-Juarbe

Tiffany, 18, turned to her local youth group and people who work at the transgender teens to have adults they can count on to talk to.

"It's very important, because most people don't really care about young people," says Tiffany.

Kelly, 18, of Maine, became heavily involved with queer activism, as a way to come to terms with her sexuality. She is affiliated with the Portland Division of Outright, an organization that give teens a chance to socialize and get involved with providing youth with HIV education and support groups. Kelly says the organization "makes you feel like you're not the only person who's queer and out in a small town."

Grappling with the Media

Kelly also finds comfort in people she doesn't know—comedian Ellen DeGeneres, for one. She admires the way DeGeneres came out.

"I think oftentimes the media over dramatizes the coming out process," says Kelly, "I like the way she approached it. She's just a person—doing what she wants to do, having a family, friends, and a relationship. She humanizes the gay community."

As teenagers, it can be difficult for many of us to become content with ourselves, because of things like peer pressure and the media's influence on they way we think we should look. That's why it helps to get involved with other people who are struggling with the same issues.

"It's really hard for people to become comfortable with themselves when they're trying to please other people," says Tiffany. So finding people who genuinely care about you and accept you for who you are helps so much, she adds.

Finding Answers

Before joining Outright, Kelly says she had a lot of questions. "I didn't know what it meant to be gay. I just knew that something in me was different," she explains.

Meeting people who are queer helped Kelly come to terms with who she is.

"I don't really have to find myself. It's OK to be confused. Some people know who they are and others don't. We can come together and talk," she says.

These types of groups also help teens decide whether to come out and how to do it, say Tiffany and Kelly.

"Like any important life lesson, it's important to have a support net," says Kelly.

A caring friend, supportive family member or youth, and support groups can help a gay teen go through this difficult time by being there to listen, comfort, and offer suggestions. Support networks are important for anyone questioning his or her identity.

"We want to feel like we know what's going on all the time," says Kelly. "It's totally normal to be a teenager exploring who you are."

And that exploration gets a little easier when we have people who understand by our side.
 

Editors' Note: For more on gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues, check out our Frequently Asked Questions section. To find a GLBTQ support group near you, click here.