I Want to Talk about Being Bisexual

By Shellie, 14, Contributor

Originally Published: Aug 21, 2007

Revised: Jun 19, 2008

I made the mistake of trying to talk about being bisexual with my mother. I’ll never do it again—not with her or anyone. Because my mother truly did embarrass the heck out of me by saying things like, “You’re not bisexual, you’re just confused,” or “You’re not bi, you’re too young.”

I asked her one time if she’d be disappointed if I turned out to be lesbian. She said yes, in a way, but only because she wants grandchildren. Funny thing is, I have one sister and two brothers. Why does she need to worry about grandchildren? One way or another, she’s getting grandkids.

Adapted from Tatiana Sapateiro

Creative Commons Attribution License

My mother crushed me by saying those things, and the experience left me wondering: If I can’t talk about being bisexual with my own mother or father, then who CAN I talk to? Not the sex ed teachers at my school. They made ABSOLUTELY NO comments about gays, lesbians, or bisexuals in class, which led to a wave of confusion and false information throughout the school. Kids started saying that ALL gay guys had AIDS, all lesbians had herpes or AIDS and all bisexuals were either gay or lesbian or straight, but not in between.

This is all wrong, and none of the kids even know it. If you try to tell them the truth, then “you’re gay” or “one of them.” The teachers feel embarrassed and ashamed by gay people, so they can’t bring themselves to talk about gay sex in school. And because of this, students tease bisexual or gay students.

It is astounding to me how often gay guys get told they have AIDS, or bisexuals get told they’re gross and confused—and it’s due to lack of proper information. Sex ed in schools should teach students about gay sexuality issues in depth and explain to students that it’s fine to be gay and that you CAN’T get HIV/AIDS JUST from being gay alone.

If schools are going to have sex ed, then they need to cover everything, thoroughly, which apparently my school can’t do. I want to talk about being bisexual or gay. I guess I really am “taboo” for wanting to do that.

Shellie, a 14-year-old Washington resident, is a monthly winner of Sex, Etc.’s recent I’M TABOO Writing Contest. Click here to check out all the teen entries. Want to write a story for Sex, Etc.? Click here!

Your Comments

re: so true

Posted by: CJT on Jan 4th, 2010 1:52pm

There's no one right or best way or time to come out to your
parents. It's perfectly OK to take time for yourself to
explore your identity and figure things out for yourself
before sharing that with anyone else, and it's also
perfectly OK to want to tell people sooner rather than
later. As you consider your options, your situation, and
what will feel best for you, this article might be
interesting or helpful for you:
http://www.sexetc.org/story/glbtq/4604/

So True!

Posted by: conteen on Dec 30th, 2009 1:02pm

My school is the same way! Im pretty sure I'm gay so this
is a huge issue for me. I know schools try but it never is
enough. And God I'm scared about coming out to my
parents!!!

Same here!!!

Posted by: icantthinkofagoodusernamelol on Aug 18th, 2009 11:25pm

My mom said those EXACT same words to me: "You're confused,
you don't understand what you are," But yet with my straight
brother, she thinks he knows exactly what he is. It's so
unfair. T_T

I've Had the Same Trouble

Posted by: xxBreathexxTodayxx on Jul 9th, 2008 5:24pm

You're not alone! I told my mother about it too and all she
ever says is, "You're too young to know" or "You're just
confused sweetie." It's annoying. I agree with you about the
school thing too. I wanna ask but I'm afraid too just for
that reason. They SHOULD teach stuff like that in sex ed.
NYEH to them xD

amen: Response

Posted by: StacieS on Sep 4th, 2007 1:42pm

I would give you the same advice as here:
www.sexetc.org/faq/glbtq/1069. Telling someone you like him
when he may react violently is incredibly risky. I think you
need to get to know him better before you take that risk.
And don't cheat on your gf. That's just wrong!

amen

Posted by: kickman1 on Sep 3rd, 2007 9:57am

i relly like my girlfriend but there is a kid on my bus that
gets ne horny all the time shoul i tell him??? because he
could hurt me really bad if he did ent like me and he would
tell every one

You're Not Alone!

Posted by: alliebaby10 on Aug 22nd, 2007 5:28pm

i totally understand where you are coming from!! Schools try
to keep information about gays, lesbians, and bisexuals
quiet but there are so many things people want to know and
are just too afraid to ask. Things with parents can be hard
when you first talk about your sexuality but they are likely
to get better with some time and patience.

I Want to Talk about Being Bisexual

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