Where is My Sex Ed?

By Amanda, 18, Contributor

Originally Published: Sep 25, 2007

Revised: Nov 10, 2010

I practice safer sex. I have only one sexual partner for whom I have very strong feelings and an immense amount of trust. I am faithful to my partner, despite the pressures of being an18-year-old girl on her way to college.

I am “taboo.”

Why? Because my sexual partner—the person I love and cherish and would do anything for—is a girl.

It doesn’t matter how much we care for each other, how faithful we are or how long we waited to have sex. We are automatically “taboo” simply by being gay. “That sort of thing” isn’t talked about. It’s not acknowledged.

Adapted from Made Underground

Creative Commons Attribution License

So, how do I benefit from a sex education class that only applies to heterosexual sex? I’ve heard about how conception and pregnancy work more times than I can count. I know the ins and outs of a penis. I know how to use a condom. The problem is that these lessons cannot be applied to my life. Even lessons about emotional health are limited to heterosexual couples.

So, where do I come in? When do I get my sex education? What sexually transmitted diseases am I at risk for? How do I protect myself? How is the emotional aspect of my relationship different? Is it even different at all?

I could never ask these questions in class, unless I want to be harassed, ridiculed and ultimately rejected. A teacher in a so-called sex ed class won’t answer these questions. These questions are considered radical, rude and wrong.

I am “taboo.”

Amanda, an 18-year-old New Jersey resident, is a weekly winner of Sex, Etc.’s recent I’M TABOO Writing Contest. Click here to check out all the teen entries. Want to write a story for Sex, Etc.? Click here!

Your Comments

RE: Thank you.

Posted by: SexExpert1 on Dec 1st, 2011 8:18am

Hi ThatFoxOverThere, You can check out out FAQs on Deciding
About Sex, Sex, Safer Sex and STDs. We make sure to address
safer sex concerns for LGBTQ teens as well as heterosexual
teens. You can also visit our Forums and post a question,
and a staff member will answer it just for you. I hope this
helps!

Thank You.

Posted by: ThatFoxOverThere on Dec 1st, 2011 12:16am

thank you for the article, i am always sitting in health
class wondering "how does this apply to me?". i am a gay 14
year old freshman and am NOT sexually active, but i really
want to know the risks and precautions of sex with partners
of the same sex. It's hard trying to get these things when
most of the school is heterosexual. i have no idea what
precautions to take before i have sex. what can i do?

So whatare the risks?

Posted by: girlgirl on Mar 25th, 2010 5:26pm

I'm a bi girl,and I have a girlfriend who means the world to
me.We've been talking about having sex.We are both ready,but
I'm worried.I am a virgin, but shehas had many partners of
both gender,and she has admitted that she once didn't use a
condom and never used anything with girls.She knows how
unsafe that was, but she didn't even know you needed
anything with girls, and I don't know either.She is unable
to b tested for STDs bcause of her parents,I don't know what
to do,am I even at risk at all

RE: Thank you

Posted by: DanR on Aug 27th, 2009 12:59pm

It sounds like that must be very frustrating for you. I
think the only thing that you can do in a situation like
this is continue to explain to your parents why
comprehensive sex ed is important to you. They may not ever
agree with you, but maybe you can eventually get to a place
where you can all understand and respect each others points
of view.

Thank you

Posted by: icantthinkofagoodusernamelol on Aug 25th, 2009 12:25am

This means a lot to me as a bi, 14 year old girl. Our sex ed
was ABSTINENCE ONLY too! My parents are ultra conservatives,
so they don't care, and think I have something wrong with me
when I complain about it! What can I do?

SAME ISSUE

Posted by: Josierocks 18 on Dec 18th, 2008 7:04pm

That exactly the way I feel. I am a sixteen year old
lesbian and I have no idea what I am in risk of when it
comes to lesbian sex.

thank you

Posted by: gkd5unomgy on Sep 12th, 2008 8:27pm

for the article. i agree wholeheartedly. i'm a gay 16-year
old in senior year (a bit young, yes, but we have a
different school system in our country) and it really gets
my goat when sex ed talks about "girlfriends of the boys" or
vice versa - can't boys have serious romantic boyfriends and
girls have serious romantic girlfriends?

Where is My Sex Ed?

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