“This friend of mine got a check up because he thought something was wrong with him. He didn't think it would be an STD. He thought it would never happen to him, but it did.”
—Rosaura, 17, New Jersey
My First Same-Sex Attraction
Originally Published: Jun 12, 2009
Revised: Jun 12, 2009
 |
 |
 |
 |
It can be scary to realize that you are attracted to someone of the same sex, because people are often ridiculed or shunned for having these feelings—regardless of whether they end up discovering they are actually gay, lesbian or bisexual. Of course, it can also be exciting. There’s the usual rush that comes with being attracted to someone new. Some people have known their entire lives that they were gay, lesbian or bisexual. For me, it’s a recent discovery.
 |
|
Photo by Made Underground |
Throughout high school, I had a few non-serious boyfriends and one long-term relationship with a guy. I liked dating guys, flirting with guys and talking about guys that I found attractive. I never thought that I could feel the same way about girls. Sure, I had a few “questioning” moments, as most teens do, but it was never anything serious enough to merit any real attention or thought. Now, high school is over, and I’ve realized that I am attracted to one of my female friends.
One night several months ago, she and I were hanging out with a group of friends. I began to realize that I was flirting with her and that I wanted to kiss her. Before, whenever we’d hang out, I’d suggest playing Truth or Dare, knowing that guys always dare girls to kiss each other. That night, I realized that I wasn’t doing it for attention; I actually wanted to kiss her.
Accepting That I’m Bi
I began to wonder if I could be bisexual, which was confusing because I always thought of myself as heterosexual. I talked to a friend of mine, who is bisexual, and she was very supportive and helpful. Since then I’ve accepted that I’m bisexual, too. Of course, I can’t say what this will mean for my life. I’ve been in a committed relationship with a guy, and I’m not opposed to the idea of dating a girl.
My experience isn’t new or unique. Many teens have had similar experiences of discovering that they are attracted to someone of the same sex. Realizing you’re attracted to people of the same sex can be scary, especially if you’re like me and have led your life thus far as a “straight” person. But there is nothing wrong with it, and it’s simply a part of learning who you are. The unfortunate truth is that not everyone will be as supportive and receptive as one would hope.
Whether you choose to come out and be open about your sexual orientation is up to you as an individual. Just know that there will always be someone you can go to, whether it’s a close friend, a relative or a support group for gay, lesbian, bisexual or questioning people. You are not alone, and you should never feel ashamed.
Your Comments
life
Posted by: ShadowBloodDragon on Jul 15th, 2009 7:12am
nice story, but what did you end up doing?
bi
Posted by: maylon_rox on Jun 18th, 2009 10:54pm
I wish my school were like yours. I myself am not bi, but im
not going to dislike someone because of who they prefer. I
see kids constantly getting teased because they are gay, bi
whatever. Its silly and you shouldnt judge someone based
soly on that.
sailing in the same boat....
Posted by: adits_bindaas on Jun 16th, 2009 1:44am
even i have a guy whom i really love.. but ive had lesbian
crushes on other girls. once we gt drunk and got really
intimate too.. n i actually enjoyed being lesbian.. bt i
enjoy it with my boyfren too.. guess im bisexual.. bt living
in an indian society, it is tough here for people to
av=ccept that fact. so i keep it to myself.
Bi
Posted by: Leilani01 on Jun 15th, 2009 10:55pm
Well I live in Honolulu, Hawaii at the moment and in my high
school many of the students are bi-sexual I am as well.
People tell each other because it's not frowned at my
school. I havent graduated yet but kids are nice to one
another even if your gay or not. We don't have that many
bullies at our school becuse we are ohana.(family)
bi
Posted by: yungstunna on Jun 15th, 2009 9:37pm
yur story is very much like mine. i had a boyfriend and was
friends with this girl for a couple of years. but wen we got
to 8th grade we played around, she was a tomboy and she
wanted me to act like her girlfriend. so i did n somehow she
really started treating me like i was her girl and was
coming on to me very strong. and i started to feel an
attraction to her. our friends had came out so we decided to
experiment. well we liked it n started goin out. we was
together for 5mths then it ended bad
Truth or Dare
Posted by: tyciol on Jun 14th, 2009 5:29am
Hearing about that is so cute! Thank you for sharing.
in school
Posted by: jz1016 on Jun 14th, 2009 2:00am
In my school being homosexual is mostly accepted by most
students which I'm proud of. But being bi is another story.
No one in my school has said that they are bi. I feel like I
am the only one in my school who feels that they are bi. I
have a boyfriend right now and I love him very much but at
the same time I can have those feelings for a girl if I were
in a relationship with her.
bi
Posted by: jz1016 on Jun 14th, 2009 1:57am
wow that's almost the same story that i have :) though I'm
not graduated yet.
Nobody knows that I'm bi because I've
heard around school that it's impossible to even be bi and
that you will always have a stronger feeling towards one sex
more. I made out with my best friend (who is a girl) as a
dare to get a attention last summer and since then I've
always wanted to kiss her again, not for attention. It's
crazy. I just have this strong attraction to her.
You Must Be Logged In to Comment
 |
 |
Answer, Rutgers University © 2010. All Rights Reserved.
Developed by MSSG, Office of Information Technology
bi
Posted by: icantthinkofagoodusernamelol on Aug 9th, 2009 9:45pm
I've known I was bi since I was around 6, when I started
having crushes on people :) Only 1 person knows I'm bi
though (not including the internet, cause anyone reading
this now knows)