The first 10 months were great. Kristin, 17, and her boyfriend, Ryan, hung out a lot, got along, and had fun. Then things started to change. 

"We drifted off and began hanging out with our own friends on the weekends," says Kristin. "I knew the signs were there."

But she wasn't ready to let go. She still liked Ryan and thought things could work out. So, they kept dating for another six months.

 

"But, after a little while, whenever we talked in the hallways, one of us would snap at the other for no reason. We used to at least be able to carry on a normal conversation. Now we threw out little insults at each other for things that were not even that important."

Her friends saw it first. 

"Every single one of my friends told me to get out, but I never listened. I thought Ryan and I could talk about what was wrong. That never happened."

Stayed Too Long

After about 16 months of dating, they broke up. Kristin admits she and her boyfriend stayed together too long.

"Instead of ignoring the signs that were there, I should have listened to my friends," says Kristin. "Being on the outside, they had a better view of what was going on. I was too caught up in the relationship to realize everything that was wrong."  

So, why do people — teens and adults — tend to hang around in relationships that are so obviously over? 

"People stay in bad relationships because they're afraid of feeling lonely and not being able to find someone else," says Mandy Smith, 18, from North Carolina. 

Very true, says Richard Wessler, Ph.D., a psychotherapist with Cognitive Psychotherapy Services, in New York City.

"People stay in bad relationships because they think they've got no good alternative," explains Wessler, "They don't want to be alone. And they often lack confidence to think they'll find a new relationship."  

It's also painful to break up with someone you may still like and care about, even if you know the romance is over. 

People also need time to get used to the idea of being solo again. And, like Kristin, many just hope things will get better again, if they hang in there and work hard enough.

Time To Leave?

It's tough to decide whether it's time to move on, but Wessler advises teens to end a relationship when things first start to turn sour. 

"My advice is, don't try very hard at all," he says. "Teenage relationships are mostly about having fun, rather than having a big future where you're going to settle down, and have kids and a mortgage."  

But say you really like this person and want to give it a try. Here are some things to consider. Was the relationship really good before? Are there outside pressures that are causing problems? Like, do either of you have something serious going on in your families? Are you stressed about school? 

So, ask yourself: What's really bothering you about the relationship? What would you like to change about the relationship? Are these things fixable?

Be careful about expecting another person to change. They rarely do, and it takes tons of time.  

Talk over these questions with each other, and with someone you trust, like a friend, teacher, or counselor. Think about what, if anything, you can each do to make the other feel more comfortable in the relationship. If you come up blank— or realize that the problems are too big to fix -- it's time to move on. 

Don't worry. Time heals wounds. And, you will love again.       

Sex, Etc. Contributor Sarah Starbuck, of Franklinville, NC, contributed to this story.