Many teens today would attempt some of the disgusting stunts seen on Fear Factor before admitting they want a closer, more open relationship with their parents. Our rebellious teen instinct tells us it’s OK to love our parents, but not show it or act like we need them.

So, we push them aside and pretend that we can make it on our own, but who are we kidding? Growing up is much more difficult without the aid and advice of a parent or guardian. 

Many teens act like they don’t want their parents to care, but according to Bill Albert, communications director for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy in Washington, D.C., many  “wish that their parents were more deeply involved in their lives.”

Albert says that when it comes to schoolwork, social interaction and issues like sex and drugs, “young people benefit from close relationships with adults. It is unfair and unwise to leave young people without adult guidance and supervision.”

After all, the teen years are some of the most difficult ones we face, and it is nearly impossible for me to imagine going through so much change and pressure without some adult guidance and mentoring. This is especially true when it comes to sexual health issues.

As teens, we’re exposed daily to mixed signals and subliminal messages that distort our perceptions of sex, drugs, and violence. Images of Britney Spears making out with Madonna at the MTV VMA’s and listening to Nelly singing about “shakin’ yer tail feather” can stick with us for a long time.

And these messages are everywhere. Radio, television, movies, newspapers, magazines, billboards, friends. A world of propaganda surrounds us, attempting to suck us into a world of sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. Although the media portray things that look like a lot of fun, some of these things are very dangerous and could end up destroying your life.

The media can leave a teen confused. That’s where the adults come in. They can often help us sort out these extremely exaggerated images and answer our questions about sex, drugs, and violence. Without an adult to help, it’s difficult to tell the difference between right and wrong and the “media world” versus the “real world.’’

Plenty of teens back this up. According to a recent poll conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 88 percent of 12- to 21-year-olds say it would be easier to postpone sexual activity if they could have more open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents.

Talking to parents gives teens more information and a better understanding of themselves and the choices they face. Parents should talk to their adolescents about the risks involved with sexual activity, forms of protection, and the benefits of remaining abstinent. When that happens, teens make better choices.

“My parents are really understanding, and I feel very comfortable talking to them about a lot of stuff,” says Dana, 17, of Pennington, NJ. “They definitely have helped me decide to wait for sex.”

The sad part is that too many parents and teens never talk about this stuff. According to the Campaign’s survey, 23 percent of respondents said they have never discussed sex, contraception, or pregnancy with their parents.

“I just don’t have any time to [talk to my parents],” says 18-year-old Chris, also of Pennington. “I’m never home when they are and they’re never home when I am. We hardly even have dinner together.”

So…maybe it’s not all the parents’ fault? Students are spending less time at home and it should be partially teens’ responsibility to approach their parents with questions or concerns. Yeah, like that would ever happen. Many teens would never admit that they need advice from their parents.

So, what do we do? First, we have to overcome the disconnection between kids and parents.

Another Campaign survey conducted in 2003 found that 45 percent of teens say parents are the most influential people in their lives. The problem is that parents don’t know it. Forty-eight percent of parents think their teens are more influenced by their friends.

So, maybe we should tell them the truth. Maybe we should let them know that we’re more likely to either wait to have sex or have safer sex, if they talk to us. Maybe we should tell them that we’re less likely to get involved with drugs or alcohol, if they talk to us.

Maybe, when they ask us, “How was school today?” we should give them some details and not just shrug and say, “OK.” A lot of parents want to be involved. We just send tons of signals that say, “Stand back.”

Questions are a great way to get the conversation started. Parents were teenagers once, too (hard to believe, I know). A lot of them drank and experimented with drugs and sex. They may actually know a few things.

So, speak up, ask questions, and learn from your parents. Don’t put all of the responsibility on them to talk. Spark up a conversation with something as simple as the latest school gossip or weekend plans and work your way into the more sensitive questions and concerns.

Some guys and girls may ask, “Well, what if I only have one parent?” This, unfortunately, is a tougher situation if you are a guy being raised by a single mom or a girl being raised by a single dad. Talk to your parent anyway. If he or she doesn’t have the answers, go with him or her to the library or bookstore or even try to find the answers on the Internet with them.

Tell your parent to check out this Web site called Talking with Kids. It gives tips on how to answer teens’ questions without making the situation uncomfortable. This may be easier said than done, but these types of Q & A sessions with your parents will end up being a rewarding learning and bonding experience for the both of you.

Your parents will either have or will search out solid answers to your questions because they care about you and want you to live a healthy and successful life. These conversations will most likely lead to a more comfortable and friendly relationship between you. You may even end up finding things out about them that you never knew.