Before I came to my private, all-male, parochial high school, I was a real ladies' man, to say the least: always talking to girls, helping them with different things, occasionally flirting, etc. While this was going on, I went on dates. I always seemed to have a girlfriend.

But since my freshman year, my dating life has diminished. It's gone from mild "action" to little, if any at all. Now, before you judge and label me as being full of myself or living in my own imaginary world, let me tell you the rest of my story. Girls in those junior-high days thought I was attractive and some would go as far as saying I had a gentleman-like charm. Meaning, I knew pretty much what a girl wanted, and I did everything in my power to give it to her, the best way I knew how. 

I remember going as far as buying charm bracelets and flowers for my sweetheart. All those usual lovey-dovey things you can imagine, I did. Although it was only junior high, those years gave me confidence. I didn't think twice about my dating future. 

This confidence quickly shrank when my mom announced that "an all-boys' school will help you keep your head on straight." 

Back in the Day

As you can imagine, I was furious. I couldn't even imagine going to an all-male school. How would I survive four years without seeing or associating with the opposite sex? No girls, no flirting, no nothing. I may as well serve a four-year prison term. 

Gains & Losses

Now a senior, I must say my academics improved, but the gain was definitely not worth the sacrifice of my social life. Since the beginning of freshmen year, I've had about ten dates, with only a couple two-or-so-month relationships to show for it. Compared to some of the public-school guys I know, I'm light-years behind.

 

"Yeah, I have a date about every week. If I'm lucky, it's the girl I had the date with the week before," said my friend John, 17, of Newark, NJ.

"I get girls," added my friend Carlos, 17, of Irvington, NJ, who goes to an all-male school. "Most of the time I don't even try; it just kind of happens. Not that much time is consumed on my part while it does."

 

Carlos's comment me wonder: Is it me or is it my lack of exposure to the opposite sex that has made me the way I am? I believe it's lack of exposure. Yeah, sure, I go to parties and other social events where I will likely meet girls, but those can't even be considered fill-ins for my junior-high days with those co-ed classes.

 

Back then, I could find out about a girl I had a crush on and get to know her better. Now this isn't even possible. If I go to a party, could I get to know a girl in meaningless small talk? 

At a public school, the situation is different. This girl you're attracted to is in your literature class. You may finally work up enough nerve to talk to her. Then you two may meet up at a party, etc. Going to an all-boys' school, that option or scenario is eliminated.

I've also lost touch with the female mind being in this male-dominated atmosphere. I knew what the girls' thinking was in junior high. Now high-school age, their thinking has changed, leaving me in the cold and darkness.

 

Sophomore year I tried talking with this girl and those sweet things that I did in the past seemed to fly over her head. She said my moves were "old school" and silly. At first I thought it was just her, but I got more or less the same reaction from other girls. Was I so out of touch with girls that I didn't have a clue what they "wanted" anymore?Talking to some of my school friends, I found out that it's not just me. My friends have gone through similar challenges. 

"Ten or so dates in three years," said one. "Well, you're up on me by three. It's hard to get a date when you got all this work. This school has definitely put my playa status on serious lock mode."

Not the Only One

Of course, you get those "playas" that flirt with one girl to the next with no thought of playing "the dating game." Marcos, 18, of Newark, NJ, is one of my so-called player friends. He doesn't buy into what he believes to be dating-game nonsense.

 

"I'm just looking for a good time," he said. "I don't want any commitment, because that's what dating turns into in the long run."

 

This isn't my style. There are occasions when I could just go out on a date with any girl that might be interested, but what's the point? Dating to me is an opportunity to get to know someone you like a little more than you already know them. And the bottom line is: Dating is just simply easier in a public school. It's about as common as waking up in the morning.

 

Private-school guys go about dating so much differently than public-school guys. Guys in all-male schools are always stuck on the fact that there are no girls, while guys in public school don't appreciate the fact that they have girls. As a private-school guy, I have more appreciation for the opposite sex and will never take them—or dating—for granted.