In middle school, we were required to take a class that taught us “teen-living skills.” In between learning proper placement of forks and knives, there was a brief mention of the word “sex.” To sum up the lesson, we were taught that sex was something that would either get us pregnant or infected with a sexually transmitted infection. After a harrowing experience watching a birthing video from the business end of the ordeal, I decided that was for me.

I joined the abstinence club in eighth grade and continued my membership throughout sophomore year of high school. I thrived in an environment where I was surrounded by people who shared my beliefs. I kept my grades up and life was really good.

Then junior year arrived and things began to change. I started working and taking advanced classes to challenge my mind. I had to give up my club activities in order to balance schoolwork and life. Without the constant support of those clubs, I began to drift, unsure of myself in the real world.

I was faced with temptations and pressures that, until then, I had managed to avoid. I began to question the reasons for my beliefs. While girls my age were out having fun and experiencing things that I longed for, I was either working or studying. Free time was a rare thing for me; my social life nonexistent.

I began to feel like I was missing something important. So, during my senior year in high school, I made positive changes. I got a new job and began to make up for lost time with friends. I applied and was accepted to college; my hard work was paying off. One weekend, I decided to celebrate and go on a camping trip with friends.

There, I met Ryan. He was a year older and handsome—a “tough” guy who got misty-eyed at romantic movies. I really enjoyed being with him, and we managed to have a normal relationship, despite the fact that he was attending technical college two hours away.

Ryan amazed me at every turn. We had a serious discussion about sex, and he admitted he was a virgin. Despite his worldliness and considerable intelligence, he was as ignorant about sex as I.

At this point, I had decided that my commitment to abstinence had been a waste of time. But, despite my disillusionment, I wasn’t quite ready to give up my virginity, even to someone I cared deeply about. I was, however, prepared to explore sex. One night, though, my curiosity went too far, and I lost my virginity.

I say “too far” because of the effect it had on my emotions. Despite my conviction that I was prepared to have sex, I discovered the opposite was true. I was ashamed to have given up something precious on a whim, and I was terrified because we had unprotected sex.

The possibility of pregnancy loomed before me. Ryan and I searched the Internet desperately that night for information on what to do in case of unprotected intercourse and possible pregnancy.

What we found scared us. We had logged on to a biased site that said taking emergency contraception was like having a medical abortion. (This isn’t true; emergency contraception prevents pregnancy. If you’re already pregnant, it won’t affect the pregnancy at all.) We felt we had no other choice but to do the unthinkable: tell my mother.

I’m not sure what I had expected, but my mother was loving and understanding about it. She told me to go to the local health clinic for help. I decided to go the next day, but before I did, I went to the library to look up info on birth control and pregnancy. I had never even heard of the most common forms of birth control and was suddenly feeling my lack of knowledge. I also discovered that I was at my most fertile period when I had unprotected sex.

I was nervous and cried the entire way to the clinic. But once I got there, the people were really nice and didn’t make me feel ashamed. I got a prescription for emergency contraception, filled it at a local pharmacy, and took it as directed. I also made another appointment at the clinic for regular birth control.

I didn’t talk to Ryan when I went home. I decided instead to do a lot of thinking. I thought about the past few years, my reasons for abstinence, and the rest of my life. And I decided I wasn’t ready for sex and that abstinence was the way for me.

When I told Ryan, I expected him to balk at being abstinent again. But, to my surprise, he agreed that it was the right thing to do. We are together to this day.

Editors’ Note: Emergency contraception (EC) can prevent pregnancy if taken within 120 hours (five days) of unprotected intercourse. You can find out how to get EC in your state here or call the Emergency Contraception Hotline at 1-888-NOT-2-LATE (668-2528).