When I was about 10 years old, my 15-year-old sister found out she was pregnant. It was difficult for me to understand what was going on, but I did. Of course, it was even more difficult for my sister to tell my mom. My mom wanted my sister to finish high school, establish a career and get her life on the right track before thinking about having kids. My mom was upset for a while, but in the long run she was there to help my sister get through this.

Adapted from karindalziel Creative Commons Attribution License

My sister chose to have her baby. Seeing her raise a child on her own, I understand how difficult it is. No matter what age you are or how grown up you may think you are, you still need a strong support system to raise a child.

It is hard to tell your parents or guardians that you’re pregnant or that your girlfriend is pregnant, but telling them too late means you or your girlfriend won’t get much needed care—whether you or she chooses to continue the pregnancy or not. So, I decided to pull together some tips for helping you through this difficult conversation.

• Seek outside help from a counselor or other trusted adult. Telling her or him will be good practice for telling your parents. Planned Parenthood provides counseling and can answer your questions about adoption, abortion and teen parenting. Find a low-cost, confidential clinic near you or call 1-800-230-PLAN (7526) to find a Planned Parenthood near you.
• Include the guy who’s responsible for the pregnancy, too—whether he’s your boyfriend or not. You didn’t get pregnant by yourself. And if you’re the guy, support your partner. Being there when you talk to both of your parents and going with her to see the doctor are just two ways that you can help.
• Get your partner and both of your parents or guardians together for a meeting. Tell them face-to-face as soon as you find out. Listen to what they have to say and use the information to figure out what your next step will be.
• Have a backup plan, especially if you don’t know how your parents or guardians will react. Before you break the news to your parents or guardians, tell another trusted adult that you are worried about what will happen and ask this person to check on you after you to talk to your parents or guardians. Ask a close family member or other trusted adult to take you in if you get kicked out. You can also contact your local youth shelter or the National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). While very few parents or guardians would put their child out on the street, it’s best to be prepared if you believe it may happen to you.

Your parents will probably be disappointed, but they hopefully will be right by your side. If you want their support, you’ve got to take the first step and tell them that you’re pregnant or your girlfriend is pregnant.

Get more info on your options and talking to your parents about being pregnant. Got more questions? Ask our experts or come to our next chat.