“I regret the first time I had sex. I was very young, naive and irresponsible. I was under the impression that all of my friends were having sex, which I now know was not true.”
—Lee, 17, Oregon
Sex 411: Answers to Your Most Common Questions about Sex
Originally Published: Feb 24, 2004
Revised: Jul 11, 2007
I’ve been masturbating regularly for many years. Is it going to harm my sexual abilities or affect my sexual health?
Not to worry. Frequent masturbation will not affect your sexual abilities or health in any way. Scientific studies have shown that masturbation does not harm the body’s health—sexual or otherwise.
The only physical hazard that may arise from masturbation is irritation of the skin from frequent rubbing or friction. This can usually be prevented by using enough lubricant during masturbation to keep the skin from turning raw. If no lubricant is available, rest may be needed for the skin to heal.
As for sexual performance or ability, since you’ve been masturbating for several years regularly, you may need to learn how to let others bring you to orgasm in a sexual relationship, instead of relying on your own movements. But other than that, your sexual abilities should not be affected.
Masturbation actually has many benefits. It can help relieve stress and teach you about your own body and what feels good to you.
—Jennifer Z. Gong, 17
My boyfriend and I were naked and grinding against each other, and he pre-came. We didn’t have intercourse and his penis was never inside of me. But since he pre-came near me, is it possible I could get pregnant?
Even though you didn’t have intercourse, there is still a slight chance you could get pregnant, because pre-cum sometimes contains sperm.
Here’s the deal. Pre-cum is the fluid that comes out of a guy’s penis once he gets an erection and before he ejaculates. This fluid cleans out the urethra, so the sperm can pass more easily through the penis.
Pre-cum only contains sperm if a guy recently ejaculated and, soon after, gets another erection. If he came before, there may still be sperm in the urethra. And if that pre-cum was near or went into your vagina, there’s a slight chance you could be pregnant.
If you think you might be pregnant, you should go to a doctor or health clinic for a pregnancy test. And don’t forget—pre-cum can also spread sexually transmitted infections, so a guy should put a condom on as soon as he gets an erection.
—Migdalia Roman, 18
That’s an excellent question! I’m really glad to see that protection is so important to you.
Though using both a male and female condom may sound like doubling your protection, it’s actually not a good idea. The polyurethane female condom will most likely stick to a latex male condom, which increases the chance that both condoms will slip off. (The same goes for “double-bagging,” putting two condoms on a guy.)
A better way to increase the effectiveness of a condom is to back it up—for example, use it with a barrier method, like a diaphragm, or a hormonal method, like the Pill. Used along with another method of protection, one condom is highly effective.
—Acacia Stevens, 17
In the locker room at school, I try to get a look at my friend’s penis. I just want to see if mine is growing fast enough. But if I look at his penis, does it mean I’m gay?
Being curious about your penis size is only natural. And checking out your friend’s penis size certainly does not mean that you’re gay.
Don’t be so concerned about placing a label on yourself, even if you think you might be gay. As you grow older and develop, your sexual orientation will become clearer to you.
In the meantime, it is perfectly normal for guys to be concerned about their penis size. But in the scheme of things, this is not of the greatest importance. Most sexual partners are more concerned with other things about a guy, such as his personality, rather than with his penis size.
—Sam, 18
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Your Comments
RE: what do i do!
Posted by: DanR on Jan 6th, 2009 2:33pm
The pill is 99.7% effective when used properly
and
consistently. If you take your pill everyday around
the
same time, then you would be pretty safe, but remember,
the
pill does not protect against STDs. Only abstinence is
100%
safe against unwanted pregnancy and STDs. If you would
like
to get some information on testing, check out this
link:
http://www.sexetc.org/page/get_tested/.
RE: Is a condom enough?
Posted by: DanR on Jan 5th, 2009 10:07pm
Only abstinence is 100% effective for birth control and
STDs. A condom is a good way to reduce your risk of STDs and
pregnancy. A condom with some form of hormonal birth control
(like the pill or the patch or the shot) is even better. If
you go to a Title X clinic, you do not need your parents
permission to get birth control, but they can find out
through insurance records if you use their insurance to pay.
To find a clinic near you, check out this link:
http://www.sexetc.org/page/get_tested/.
what do i do!
Posted by: brooklynj on Jan 2nd, 2009 12:28pm
my boyfriend and i didn't use a condom, and he thinks he
pulled it out all the way, but he didn't, and i think he
cummed, but im on the pill so would i be prego?
Is a condom enough?
Posted by: loveisalluneed on Dec 29th, 2008 10:01pm
I am not on any birth control pill or anything - but if I
wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, would a condom be
enough to protect me against the risk of pregnancy???
Would
it be a good idea to take Plan B afterwards? Or should I go
on the Pill? Do I need my parents' consent to start the
Pill?
RE: A Lot and Sensitive
Posted by: DanR on Nov 6th, 2008 11:47am
This sounds very normal to me. For most people,
masturbation is about finding out what feels good to you,
and that will differ from person to person. I think that
taking time to explore your body and figure out what works
best for you sounds like a great option.
A Lot and Sensitive
Posted by: theritegirl on Nov 5th, 2008 12:10am
I notice when I masturbate and do it multiple times in a
day, that I am not as sensitive down there compared to if I
do it every two or three days. Is that normal, and say you
aren't as sensitive on the clit, is it best that you try
other things that would just be as big of a turn on?
RE: normal??
Posted by: DanR on Sep 22nd, 2008 12:04pm
Actually, what you are describing is VERY normal, and it
doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. Many
women can not reach orgasm just from penetration of the
vagina. For many women, stimulation of the clitoris is a big
factor in reaching orgasm. The first step is to get to know
your body and know what feels good to you so that you can
communicate that to a partner. Check out this FAQ on the
clitoris: http://www.sexetc.org/faq/girls_health/643.
normal??
Posted by: christiangirl on Sep 19th, 2008 10:27pm
ive been fingered quite a bit and i masturbate. but i've
never "hit the peak". ive never had sex, but ive been really
close. i told him to stop cuz it hurt. im scared that im
gonna be one of those girls that cant climax. please tell me
that thats impossible!! i just want to be normal. im afraid
to have sex cuz i dont want the guy to think im weird if i
dont orgasm...is this normal?
RE: sex
Posted by: DanR on Sep 8th, 2008 2:05pm
Possible, not likely. Pulling out is not the most effective
form of birth control, and it does not do anything to help
protect you or your partner against STDs. If you are on
some
kind of hormonal birth control pill, that would reduce
your risk for pregnancy (but not STDs). If your boyfriend
ejaculated just before you had sex, there could have still
been sperm in his urethra that could be carried out in
pre-cum. Condoms are a much safer method of protecting
yourself against pregnancy and STDs.
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Yes
Posted by: sorryman11 on Jan 9th, 2009 4:51am
You can still get pregnant. I was a virgin until i met this
girl.. I was not in love with her but i was sexually
confortable around her. We had sex a total of 4 times. When
i broke up with her she called me up 4 days later and toled
me she was pregnant.. We had unprotected sex 1 time. You
kids need to be careful when it comes to sex because it is a
good/hard life changing experiance. Dont settle with some
one unless you absolutly love that person..