Sex. Some teens have no problem doing it. But talk about it? Yeah, right. What does talking have to do with sex?

Plenty.

Talking creates intimacy and trust between two people. Without communication, sex is purely physical. Deep discussions are also key to avoiding pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Take the Leap

We know it's not easy, so we talked to Elizabeth Walters, a midwife with HiTops, a teen clinic and peer education program in Princeton, NJ. Here's what we came up with: The biggest issue you should talk about is whether you're both really into this. Are you both ready? Are you scared? What worries you? You never know, you both may be sweating the same things.

Another biggie is the relationship factor. Sex is sure to change the way you two relate, so ask each other these questions: What do we want out of our relationship? A forever thing or just 'til the end of the school year? Do we love each other? Are we committed—no dating others? What do we want from each other?

True Intimacy

Talking about each other's sexual past is important too. Have you had  sex before? Did you use protection? Your honey could have gotten an infection from a previous partner and not know it. Not only will knowing about your partner's sexual past protect you against STDs, it could bring you closer.

Now it's time to talk protection.

The first rule: ALWAYS use condoms. They protect you against most infections, as well as pregnancy. Decide who will get the condoms. Or better yet, go to the store together.

You should also use another form of birth control. Condoms can break. Which one to use is a decision that both partners should make together. And remember: this is not a girl job. Both of you can visit your local clinic (to find one near you, click here). They'll give you info and cheap birth  control.

Now, for the setting and the mood. Choose a time and place that has a comfortable, friendly atmosphere. Forget cuddling in front of the TV or a romantic fire for the big discussion. Your minds—and hands—are sure to wander. Instead, take a walk or go out for a cup of coffee together.

It Takes Time

Starting the conversation may be rough, so here is a way to lighten it up a bit. Try the "Guess who's having sex" game. Talking about other couples you suspect are having sex can be a fun ice breaker. And remember: take your time. Important decisions take way long to figure out. What's most important is that you and your partner are comfortable enough with each other to actually have a mature discussion about sex, which brings us back to the intimacy factor.

My boyfriend and I had talked about having sex for awhile, and by the time we were actually ready, we were close and comfortable with each other. We could talk about anything. Talking about such an intimate thing can definitely bring a couple closer together, without actually having sex.

Sex is a big deal. If you aren't ready to deal with it, that's fine. But if you decide to take that step, it's definitely important to plan and discuss sex before having it, and totally stupid not to.