Parents and teachers tell us to abstain. No sex, no nothing. They tell us that sex is just too dangerous and that we'll be opening ourselves up to an army of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) if we give up our "sacred virginity." They have made it so that we have no space to be sexual at all. But, thanks to technology, teens have found a way to circumvent the risk of getting an STD or having an unplanned pregnancy, while still enjoying some degree of sexual expression: cybersex. 

Because I lacked personal experience in cybersex, I decided that for the sake of this article I would do it myself. I would have cybersex.  So I did, and now I'll take this opportunity to describe to you, whoever you may be, my online rendezvous.  

Nitty-Gritty Details

To enter a chat room, you have to have your introduction ready at a moment's notice. 17/f/NJ—that's the basic, level-one introduction. For those who know exactly what they want, as I did, it wouldn't hurt to be even more specific. I type "lesbian" as well. For a first timer, the jumble of words that appear on the screen will be hard to take in. It might take a few minutes to sort through it all and find somebody who wants to talk to you. But then it happens—the golden moment, the beautiful chimes—the sound of the private chat box announcement ringing in your ears, letting you know that playtime has begun.

I won't elaborate too much on the actual "sex." Let's just say there was a lot of lying involved. For example, I do not have curly red hair, green eyes or 36 DD breasts. Nor was I wearing my Catholic school uniform, complete with a fringed miniskirt and golden cross. And, of course, I most certainly did have my underwear on. Not to mention, I'm positive my partner was not sun tanning naked on her patio, especially after I realized that she was a he.

Now, judging by my words so far, you probably think I'm completely okay with cybersex. The truth is, I'm not sure about it. It's not something that I'd willingly do again, but that's not because I think it's immoral; it just doesn't appeal to me.

Negative Side

There are dangers, of course, just as there are with anything else. Sexual predators are on the rise and chat rooms provide an anonymous way for them to meet and exploit young people online. But avoiding these predators is as easy as common sense. You should not give out personal information, including your name, nicknames, hometown, school and distinct personal traits. (You never know if the person you're talking to is someone you actually know in your regular life.) This should protect you from any devious online characters. It's that simple. Oh, it's also not a good idea to meet up with someone in-person that you've met in a chat room. Chances are they are really not who they say they are.

But common sense doesn't always protect you. In 2002, one in five children (that includes teenagers) who used online chat rooms were approached by pedophiles online and received sexual solicitations. In a poll by the Girls Scout Research Institute, 30% of their sample "said they had been harassed in a chat room." 

What Is a Teen to Do?

It's a sticky issue, this cybersex. On one hand, it can help you learn about yourself. And it gives you a fairly anonymous environment where you can release sexual tensions with no risk of pregnancy or STDs. On the other hand, I believe that a 16-year-old can take care of him or herself in an explicit chat room, but I can't say the same thing for a 13-year-old.

I can't advocate for cybersex, nor can I support those who believe in making it a crime. It's a personal, private issue that each teenager must come to terms with on his or her own.

But I can say that one good thing about cybersex is that it has the bonus of a "block" button, which, unfortunately, you don't have in real life. Cybersex allows us to move at our own pace and push away experiences we're not ready for. 

Editors' Note: For online safety tips, check out WiredSafety's Web site by teens, for teens, www.teenangels.org.