The First Time I Heard About S-E-X

By Elizabeth Gyori, 18, Staff Writer

Originally Published: Jun 4, 2009

Revised: Jun 5, 2009

During my sixth grade English class, we’d work in groups on in-class book reports, but my group always got sidetracked. We’d end up chatting amongst ourselves about how the Backstreet Boys were still cool and how Kelley Clarkson was definitely going to win American Idol. However, one day, the topic of our whispered conversations suddenly shifted from American Idol to masturbation and sex.

“Do you know what masturbation is?” my friend asked.

Yeah, I was in second grade and an older girl, a third grader, was telling me she wanted to have sex with me. I told my parents excitedly, and they got offended and explained what sex was.
—Jeffrey, 15, NJ

The first time I heard about sex was at a friend’s house when I was seven. We were playing Barbies, and she told me that she had walked into her parents’ bathroom and found them taking a shower together and kissing and touching and such. Then she wanted to show me what she meant with the Barbies. I made the comment that my parents kissed all the time, and I could not understand why adults would want to lay on top of each other.
—Lindsay, 16, GA

The first time I learned about sex, I said to myself, “I’m never doing that in my life.” Then again, I still thought boys had cooties.
—Cristina, 16, NJ

“Isn’t that a form of writing?” I responded.

After the laughter had cooled down, my friend whispered, “Masturbation is when someone tries to feel good by touching…down there.” Intrigued and interested, I began to ask my friends about sex and sexuality.

Having grown up in an Asian-American household where sex is never mentioned, I had no idea what masturbation or sex was. Perhaps the only clue that I had about sex was from the little box on medical forms labeled “sex,” which asked for my gender. Nevertheless, because sex was never mentioned to me or discussed openly by the adults I trusted, I looked for information from what happened to be unreliable sources. By the time I reached seventh grade health class, I had a whole slew of misinformation about sex: If I use tampons I’m not a virgin, pregnancy could be avoided if the guy pulled out and sexually transmitted diseases couldn’t be caught through anal sex. In the end, I found myself trying to untangle the web of myths and lies that had become my sex education.

From whispering in English class to dinner table conversations, everyone has learned about sex in different ways. Despite these differences in experience, one thing is always absolutely necessary when it comes to sex and sexuality: the truth. While some of us may have received misinformation and others may have had a stellar sexual health education, accurate and honest information is vital. It’s vital for healthy sexual development into adulthood, and it’s vital so that the next generation will never be left thinking that masturbation is a form of writing.

Your Comments

I can't remember

Posted by: tyciol on Dec 1st, 2009 2:40pm

Honestly, I think I just gradually absorbed information and
probably read about it in an encyclopedia to sort out the
details.

haha

Posted by: lllalla on Jul 28th, 2009 9:57pm

Its kinda funny how people think from when theyre like 5 to
now. Sadly i never really knew what sex was EXACTLY until i
had my first time. My mom and dad never talk to me about
anything, so ive also had to depend on websites like these
for information.

Abstinence-ed Internet = My info

Posted by: icantthinkofagoodusernamelol on Jul 22nd, 2009 4:38pm

I learned NOTHING from the abstinence-ed classes, other than
"condoms break easily" and "birth control is too harmful and
doesn't work well", and a whole assortment of lies. But, I
went to many ACCURATE websites, including this one, and got
completely accurate info :3 Thnx, Sex, Etc.

Abstinence-only

Posted by: reader55 on Jun 11th, 2009 3:10pm

I learned about sex from my hated catholic private school
that taught an abstinence-only, bare facts sex curriculum. I
hated it. I went on to learn a lot more from websites I
trust. Somehow I came to know a LOT about sex and more than
my parents could have taught me.

sex ed

Posted by: Jora_Angel on Jun 10th, 2009 11:13pm

i learned about it many times in school 5th 7th and 10th
grade. i do love the end passage

my first time

Posted by: suggsd2 on Jun 9th, 2009 1:50pm

I heard about sex when I was five years old especially when
your parents doing it everyday when your home or not at
home.

i like this

Posted by: jta21abr on Jun 7th, 2009 12:47am

i like this passage jusst because i learned by my dad giving
me a porn movie and being like here go have a good time dont
get to drunk. so when i did loose my virginity i tryed to do
it llike i saw in the moves and it was both of our first
times so it hurt her alot. so i have learned from trial and
error

Asian sex-ed

Posted by: Lady_ASP on Jun 6th, 2009 9:04pm

Yeah, Asian parents probably don't talk about it at
home...but in Hong Kong I don't think they really need to
because you get sex ed at school!